Friday, December 04, 2009

NLP: 為什麼每一屆課程教的東西好像也不一樣?

Hi,

今天高階催眠治療師課堂完成之後,與去屆同學作課後檢討時,小弟提及本屆的教學重點會與上一屆不一樣,因為這一屆的同學水平跟上一屆不同。

有人問:什麼水平呢?抽象水平,亦即是NLP中的抽象-具體超然程序 (Abstract-Concrete Meta-Program)。

過去一屆,同學們較為傾向抽象一點,因此講授的重心是抽象的系統式介入方法 Systemic Interevention Approach;本屆同學卻較為具體一點,抽象的東西對他們來說,並不實用,因此本屆的重點,就是具體的非艾克森艾克森方法 (Non-Ericksonian Ericksonian Approach)!

那是否抽象優於具體,或是具體勝於抽象?

凡學過NLP超然程序的朋友也會知道,那有一方優於另一方,只是不同,不是優劣。

硬把單一一套放於不同的朋友,既學得不好,也教得辛苦,這是NLP給我們的智慧,不同方法,最後也是會殊途同歸的!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

後記1:後來還有同學問我如何察知上屆今屆的不同,簡單得很,課堂上問的問題不同,上屆的問題,普遍傾向抽象一點,本屆的就具體得多,留心同學,自會發現!

後記2:再前一屆同學的問題,更為抽象得要命,結果當年所教的,又是另一套!

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Monday, November 30, 2009

我的觀點極短篇: Ny-lon-kong 紐倫港?!

Hi,

前年美國時代雜誌把紐約、倫敦和香港並列稱為 Ny-lon-kong紐倫港),指出這三座城市是全球化城市的模範,大家可能也開心了一陣子,時至今日,還經常聽見我們某些港人引此為傲。

但抽離一點,冷眼旁觀,超然覺察之後,可能人家時代雜誌,只是想說香港只是尼龍港 (Nylon Kong),非真絲也!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

NLP: NLP中的語言部份

Hi,

Neuro-Linguistic Programming 身心語言程序學,顧名思義,可有三處不同的著手點,亦即語言來影嚮自己或他人的身(行為)、心(思維)及語言。

大多數人把NLP重點聚焦於身及心,但前者的技術,很多時用起來較為突兀,後者則難於觸摸掌握,故學者多,用者少,誠可悲也。

至於語言,很多朋友誤以為只得『語言模式』可用,查語言這一部份,以NLP英文名稱原意,實佔了整個學問整整二份之一,只可惜NLP源自英語世界,不同語言,受者不同文化影嚮,語法、語義、語用、修辭亦不盡相同,絕不能搬字過紙,照版煮碗。

管你是師承什麼紅鬚綠眼外國大師,NLP放諸於中文時,運用起來則截然不同,舉一簡單例子,近日乘搭地鐵時,聽見列車廣播,你說下列那一句聽得更令人舒服呢:

各位乘客落車
各位乘客落車

記著,小弟說的是聽起來更舒服,而不是更順耳,其中一句,已經聽了十多年,肯定更為順耳,但那一句更令人舒服呢?

換一個講法,可能你更能察覺:

各位朋友上座
各位朋友上座

那一句呢?

只是其中一字位置不同了,卻引致不同的感覺,這是 Linguistics 中的語法差異 (Syntax);日常運用NLP的語言部份,反正我們就是要以說話來溝通的,用了也不會因此多花氣力,而且也不易被人察覺,這才是上乘之選啊!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, October 12, 2009

NLP: 英中 Eng-ese

Hi,

學習 NLP 的朋友,大多瞭解我們的主要思維濾網 Filters 包括信念價值觀規則;思維濾網時時刻刻地在消除、歪曲與概括化我們的思想。

其實還有一個影嚮更大、更為深遠的濾網,經常地被人忽略,她就是語言了。

人以言語來表達接收自己及他人的思維,不同的語言,有著不同的文化背景,亦即帶著不同的假設,更令操不同語言的人,擁有不同的思維框架。

所謂英中,當然不是指英文中學,而是英文化中文;往昔只有被老師責罵我們滿口中文化英文,所謂 Chin-lish 也,怎料今時今日,Chin-lish 以外,還有遺害更深的 Eng-ese。

君不見現今我們講的、寫的,已經不再是真正的中文了;打造什麼平台、致以什麼深切慰問、扮演什麼角色等等,這些根本不是中文,只是英語直譯而矣!

前幾天電視轉播溫總理在南韓的演說,一大堆『朝方顯示了什麼彈性』、『創造什麼條件』,突然醒覺,『英中』不是來自外國,而是不折不扣的在學習祖國。

那又有什麼不妥呢?

文字,只是語言最基本的單位,雖然我們仍舊使用著這種中文的基本單位,但語法語義卻被英語征服了,中文的思想規律與條理,早已蕩然無存!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

後記:小弟反觀自己,原來也中毒深矣,檢討自己的文筆,刻不容緩。

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Thursday, October 01, 2009

Concepts 101 Part 46: 決定與推動

Hi,

先有決定 (Decision),再來推動 (Motivation),我們就能起動了,這也是傳統 NLP 對這兩個策略的認知。

這亦是前幾年常聽人說的:『議而不,決而不』,前者欠決定,後者欠推動也。

但真的是這樣子嗎?但如果真的是已決定了,那還用什麼推動?

查『決定』一詞,除了是對事情作出判斷外,還含有『一定』的意義,如朱子語類中說到:「若欲與湯進之同做,決定做不成,後來果如此。」,又或陸游的一百五日行:「眼中青山身後塚,此事決定君何疑。」,既是一定,就肯定如此,那需推動?

英文中的 Decision 一字,根據 Random House Dictionary 指出,乃 the act of making up one's mind,也是既已 make up one's mind 了,那還用推動?

但為什麼我們卻經常還是決而不行呢?

因為我們還未真的是決定了,很多時只是對某個選擇有了傾向 (Tendency) 而矣;若只得一點點的傾向,那就需要大大的推動,多一點的傾向,所需的推動就少一點。

傾向,即還未 make up one's mind,亦即仍不是『一定』,那當然要推動了。

能真的 make up one's mind、能確定是『一定』,除了減少浪費時間、精力於無謂的推動外,更能減少選擇錯誤,因為當一個人仍未能對其選擇完全肯定時,他就不能 make up one's mind、他就不能確定他的選擇是『一定』!

如何能真的 make up one's mind、如何能確定是『一定』呢?字典又給予我們答案,Decision 是為了什麼要 make up one's mind 呢?字典說:為了 make up one's mind for a question or doubt!

你的選擇,是否已能完全解答你的問題呢?你的選擇,是否已能完全移去所有的懷疑呢?

以後,決定了就是決定了,坐言起行;還未能肯定時,快找問題、快找懷疑好了!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Influencing: 誰是你的說服對象?

Hi,

這兩天剛在教授 NLP執行師課程中的潛意識溝通學,課題就是如何無意識地說服他人,可選擇的技術實在不少,但重點卻有兩項,必須牢記,否則事倍功半,甚至功敗垂成:

1. 世上沒有任何必勝說服秘技,每一種技術,只是增加一點勝算,我們不是只用一種技術,而是同時使用多種;但機關算盡,最後還要看對方的原有信念有多根深蒂固!

2. 那個才是你的說服對象,在你面前的,可以並不是你的說服對象,坐在旁邊的,又或根本不在你的眼前的,可能才是你要打動的人!

最近參與了一位客戶於某酒店咖啡室,進行的高級職員非正式 Interview,小弟只是坐在旁邊,而且可能小弟向來樣衰,結果應聘者一眼也沒有看過小弟,更莫說曾企圖說服小弟,可惜小弟雖不是是次會見的決定者 (Decision Maker),但卻是影嚮者 (Influencer)!

再舉一例,小弟回應在本Blog回應的朋友時,小弟的說服對象,究竟是誰呢?當然不是我的回應對手,而是諸位廣大其他讀者!設Blog的目的,不是為了某個人,而是為了會來看的所有人,不是嗎?

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Personal Development: 不存在的行為 Part 2

Hi,

前文談到第一種不存在的行為,由於它的不存在性,因此根本無法改善!

本文續談第二種不存在的行為。

催眠NLP的課程中,每當提及行為改進時,便有同學提出這一種無法做到行為,例如『戒不到酒』,說得好像『戒酒』是一種行為,它根本是一種不存在的行為,你硬把它當成行為,試問又怎能做到呢?

『戒酒』怎麼會是一種不存在的行為?很簡單,『戒酒』時,你是在做什麼?你不是在做什麼,而是在不做什麼,我們那能做『不做什麼』!?

戒除任何習慣,全都是一種不存在的行為,亦因此令修正習慣這麼艱難!

我們不能做什麼,只能做什麼,舉例來說,你不想飲酒,當你想飲酒時,那你可以改做什麼呢?我們只能以另一種習慣來取代舊的習慣,我們根本不能只憑『不做』!

不信的話,那就請諸位告訴小弟,你曾經成功單以『不做』來戒除的任何習慣的經驗!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

後話:肯定有朋友想蠢蠢欲動,告訴小弟你的成功故事,不過請你先想清楚,你的成功案例,真的只是靠『不做』來達成的嗎?還是那時當你想做本來的習慣時,你卻做了別的來替代?

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Developmental Dynamics: 所有想法也是極端的!

Hi,

早兩天的NLP課程中,小弟又再次提出了另一個非常極端的理念-所有想法也是極端的

沒有任何一個想法及信念是真正的中度的,所有也是極端的!

由於它們是極端的,那就提供了改進的空間;凡是極端的,就有空間修正,世事何曾是絕對。

舉例來說,『我不能夠做到』這個想法是極端的,它全抺剎了『我能夠做到』的可能性;反過來說,『我能夠做到』這個想法也是極端的,它全抺剎了『我不能夠做到』的可能性。

什麼是極端?最盡處,盡頭也,後面再沒有什麼了,當相對的可能性全都被抺剎了,那後面就再沒有什麼了!

可能你會說,剛才舉的兩個例,根本本身就是極端,能來一個好像不太極端的例子,我就相信;既然如此,就再來一個吧:『我有可能做到』看起來應該不太極端,但這個想法也是極端的,它全抺剎了『我無可能做到』的可能性,那會不極端?!

那很簡單,『我有可能做到,亦有可能做不到』應該不會是極端吧!對不起,它也是極端的,它全抺剎了『我肯定能做到』及『我肯定不能做到』的可能性,又焉能不極端?!

可能有朋友會說:『我有可能做到』不是已包括了『我肯定能做到』了嗎?『我有可能做不到』不是已包括了『我肯定不能做到』了嗎?當然不包括,試想想,當你的醫生對你說:『你有可能會死』包括了『你肯定會死』嗎?

不論甚麼想法也是極端,並不代表它們不好,又或是不正確,只是它們抺剎了其他的可能性,而被抺剎的,也並不一定比它們好或正確,只是它們所忽略的,正是我們能改進想法的空間!

一個平面看來不是極端,另一平面來看就是極端,畢竟世界是立體的!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

後記:可能還會有朋友說:『我有可能做到,或者我肯定能做到,又或者有可能做不到,又又或者我肯定不能做到』應該不會再是極端吧?不用我多說,這個精神分裂的想法,本身就是一個極端吧!

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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Personal Development: 不存在的行為 Part 1

Hi,

早前連續兩天,分別在NLP催眠課程中,均有同學提及到一些他們無法改善的行為,但它們均帶著同樣的不能解決的原因-那些要改善的行為根本不存在,那能改善?!

舉例來說,『遲到』是一個不存在的行為;什麼,我每天也在看見有人遲到,怎麼可能遲到是不存在的行為?

你看見的是有人9時15分才上班,但9時30分上班也叫遲到,而且那個行為只是上班,而非遲到!9時15分,又或是9時正上班,但他們也都是在推開公司大門,步往自己的辦公桌,然後坐下;既然做的東西也是相同的,那能改善!(改善是需要改變行為,亦即改變做什麼,但它們既是做著同樣的事情,那來改變,那來改善?)

有人肯定會不贊同小弟的說法,明明是時間上已經不同,那會是做著相同的事情呢?

不讓你看錶,你會肯定知道他們那一個步進辦公室的人是遲到嗎?不能吧,因為他們都是做著同樣的東西!

上班是存在的,遲到是不存在的;存在的行為能改不存在的行為不能改!這也是為什麼遲到這個壞習慣那麼難改!

那怎辦?修改存在的行為就可以了

遲到是不存在的行為,但卻有引致遲到存在的行為,如睡醒後不立即起床、如晚上打機不睡覺等等,要改就是要改這些。

又有同學問小弟,如何改變遲睡的習慣,當然遲睡也是不存在的行為,要改就要問一下自己,不去睡覺時,你在做什麼?要改就是要改這些!

不先弄清楚要改善的行為是否真的存在,無論你用的是NLP的什麼技術,又或是催眠的什麼方法,也只是徒勞無功的!

這是第一種不存在的行為,稍後再為大家送上第二種不存在的行為。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, June 29, 2009

Concepts 101 Part 41: 主觀

Hi,

昨天剛完成了本系列的第四十篇-客觀,本來不打算這麼快就下筆寫第四十一篇,但讀者CC君於上篇提出了的問題,不清楚說明客觀的對比-主觀,似乎難於充份地回答他的問題。

查客觀、主觀二詞,皆來自外語,雖晉朝華陽國志曾有『客觀』一詞出現,但該詞解作外觀,非現今人所說的客觀也。

所謂的客觀,源自Objective一字,意即把觀察對象當作物體Object來看,獨立於思維及觀察者之外;真正的客觀,也就是NLP所指的Meta了。

至於主觀,明顯地是來自Subjective一字,那是把觀察對象,連結到觀察者的思維內,對該觀察對象的認知,而不是把它當作一件獨立物體,觀察者本身就是Subjective一字中的Subject了;真正的主觀,也就是NLP所指的第一位置+聯繫 (First Position, Associated)了。

作為人類,我們差不多全部時間也是在主觀,試問誰人能真正的把對人事物的想法人事物本身分開呢?

主觀帶來的問題,我想無需在此多述(這也是一個主觀的想法),而要做到客觀,就必須找出支持對某人事物觀察的結論的證據了,為什麼呢?

證據,並非另一個想法,而是一件存在於現實世界的物體(Object),一個想法如果是由另一個想法來證明的,肯定那是主觀了,因為想法本身就是主觀的結果;但如果能有證據,那就證明了觀察者觀察的對象是物體,那就開始了客觀的觀察了。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, June 27, 2009

NLP: 中國古代的 Dissociation 與 Meta 理論?!

Hi,

中國古代已有NLP的理論?當然,她們比NLP早了很多年出生呢!

Dissociation 與 Meta,俱是抽離於外,只是前者還是自己本身,後者則不用本人身份來看事物。

中國禪宗典藉『景德傳燈錄』記載的『騎牛覓牛』一語,意即身在其內,當然找不著;自己在難題中找答案,當然事倍功半,甚至連自己身在難題中也懵然不知,這個道理早在一千二百多年前,中國禪宗大師大安禪師早已公諸於世。

一千二百多年前還未算早,『詩經』中的『伐柯伐柯其則不遠』,成詩於周朝,距今達三千多年!『伐柯伐柯,其則不遠』意即所求的已在手,但卻不知道,為什麼呢?身在其中也!

要看到,就先走下牛,就先放下柯,抽離於外,自會看到!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

NLP: 三個我!

Hi,

最近讀者KC君的一篇回應,給予了小弟一些想法。

他說:若要人似我,除非兩個我!

但我們真的有兩個『我』!

一個在外面,一個在裡面

如果再加上一個在外面的外面,那就更完滿了!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Hypnosis: 小弟跟很多人一樣...

Hi,

最近連寫了幾篇文章 (如果那些也算是文章的話!?),均以『小弟跟很多人一樣...』作為開端,已有聰明的朋友來電郵詢問,那是否一種語言模式 (Language Patterns) 呢?

你說呢?

你認為『小弟跟很多人一樣...』與『很多人跟小弟一樣...』有沒有分別呢?

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, May 16, 2009

My Point of View: Quae sursum volo videre

Hi,

不少朋友問我,小弟的那家 Institute of Mental Technology 標誌下面的那行鬼話是什麼意思,那是本校的格言,也是小弟的指導原則。

她是一句拉丁文 (為什麼用拉丁文?有型一點嘛!),英文意譯是:I wish to see what's beyond! 中文的意思就是:我希望看到外面的世界

我們都只看到我們能看到的,外面還有很多很大吧;要成果突破,就先要行為突破;要行為突破,就先要思維突破;要思維突破,就要先看到自己外面更大的世界

學習 NLP 就是能讓自己看到更多更大;學習催眠治療,就是能讓別人也能看到更多更大!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, April 18, 2009

NLP: 人怎能貌相!

Hi,

你可能已經從網上或新聞中知道這件事,但小弟一看再看那段片段,還是那一句:『人怎能貌相!

NLP 核心研究的是,我們的預定假設 (Presuppositions / Filters) 如何影嚮我們的看法及判斷,繼而影嚮我們的想法、做法及結果!

預設假設最為恐佈的是,它是完全無意識的,完全不自覺的,但它卻無時無刻地影嚮干預我們的思維!

NLP 帶給我們最有用的,不是什麼影嚮人的技術,更不是什麼治療、溝通、自我改進策略,而是有系統地察知自己的預設假設,令自己真正的思想自由!



更詳盡的片段:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, April 09, 2009

NLP: 思維框架 Frames

Hi,

身心語言程序學 NLP 課程中,小弟經常提及思維框架這個概念,並強調思維框架才是 NLP 的精髓所在,究竟思維框架是什麼呢?

思維框架其實是我們看/想人事物的觀點,亦即是我們如何看/想人事物,我們如何去看及想,局限了我們看到什麼、想到什麼,就像框架的作用一樣,令我們只聚焦於框架之內,忽略了框架以外的世界!

我們看/想人事物時,都有著慣性的框架,結果永遠也只看見能看見的,卻看不見看不見的,亦導致了我們常說的盲點了。

我們不能棄用框架,否則我們如何看/想事物呢?要減少盲點,不是減少,而是增加,刻意運用更多的框架,令自己看得更多,更能看見原本看不見的!

如何能具體地增加框架呢?先有名有姓地找出不同的框架,然後特意使用;NLP 常用的框架,其中包括諸如難題框 Problem Frame、結果框 Outcome Frame、起因框 Cause Frame、原因框 Reason Frame、解決框 Solution Frame、障礙框 Barrier Frame 等等十數種,每遇到困難時,就以多個不同的框架來看來想,擴闊自己的視野!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

我的觀點:惡無知與笨醒目 Part 2

Hi,

前天寫了惡無知與笨醒目一文,有讀者問我:『為什麼要寫一篇文章,繞個圈公開地來罵自己的呢?』

以前也曾說過,活到一把年紀了,沒有甚麼閒情做些沒有原因的事,寫那篇文章,早就預備了她的續集。

上週末的高階身心語言程序學執行師課程潛意識說服學中,談到應付抗拒反對的最佳方法,就是預防;預防的最佳方法,就是自行爆破

談港女或港男的朋友,從來沒有好下場;同時談論兩者,死狀更慘!這也正好是示範預防的最佳時機!

自行爆破,就是先發現別人最會反對抗拒什麼,自行揭發,取回主動!但不少朋友用的策略剛好相反,最希望別人不會發覺,並企圖掩飾,但當人家已開始反對抗拒,再想改變對方立場,難矣!

最佳的說服對象,是聰明的人,因為聰明人可動用資源肯定更多,能說服聰明人,槓桿更大;但妄想聰明人不會發現我們論據中的瑕疵,不是自欺欺人嗎?

還是乖乖的自行了斷,來得痛快實在一點!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, March 23, 2009

NLP: 同步不帶領

Hi,

今天的 Master NLP Practitioner 課程中,我們在研究奧巴馬競選演講中的催眠模式

其中一個重點,就是他經常地只同步 (Pacing),卻不帶領 (Leading),就算帶領,也只佔整個演講的極小部份!

為什麼呢?

不是說同步的目的,就是帶領,為什麼他不去帶領呢?

理由很簡單,他並不需要帶領!每個聽他演講的人,也肯定知道他的目的是什麼,就是要人投他一票,那還需什麼帶領?

同步是要對方感到共鳴,令人接受自己,競選目的不就是要人接受自己嗎?因此,他只需積極做好同步,自然做水到渠成。

他的同步又做得如何呢?除了說『極好』外,別無他想!他差不多用了整個演說,以超過十種不同的方式,不斷地與聽眾同步!

奧巴馬這種只同步不帶領策略,我們又有沒有運用價值呢?

有,特別是當你並不需要對方立即行動,又或只是初次見面,而你也只需對方更接受你,只同步不帶領的最大好處就是沒有抗拒,因為你根本沒有帶領,因為你根本沒有要求對方採取行動,因為你根本沒有去說服對方!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

P.S. 在奧巴馬僅僅十三分鐘的演說中,我們發現了他竟然用上了二十六種不同的催眠模式,他不是在演說,他簡直是在催眠他的聽眾!

看看你能找到多少個模式:

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Monday, March 02, 2009

NLP: 第十年度 NLP 執行師畢業了!



Hi,

我們的第十年度 NLP 執行師畢業了!

上圖為本屆的 Graduate Assistants (真的謝謝你們過去一年的你的協助!),下圖為本年度的執行師畢業同學!

本年度我們共有九十名同學畢業,再次感謝同學的努力及對小弟過去一年的容忍與支持;我相信,你們的努力,換取回來的不只是一紙證書,而是一些能助你助人的知識與技術!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, February 21, 2009

轉載: 掌握情勢 NLP,助你扭轉逆境

轉載:明報JUMP
日期:20-2-2009

在金融海嘯的影響下,如何保住自己的崗位,甚至要突破困境、脫穎而出?如果不幸被公司裁員、或者一段時間仍未能脫離失業大軍,甚至見工面試總是碰壁……應該如何應付?何不主動出擊嘗試從NLP(身心語言程序學)的角度出發,改善固有的思考和行為模式,從而提升個人競爭力,在職場或個人成長路上,學會扭轉逆境,甚至創造時勢。

世界在變 學會因時制宜

「以前的世界十年如一日,轉變有限,所以只要有一門手藝已經可以養妻活兒,甚至創業興家;但現在是知識型經濟的社會,要取得資訊的途徑亦五花八門,身處其中不能一成不變,要學會因時制宜。」本身是認可NLP導師、認可專業企業教練導師、註冊催眠治療導師及聖雅各福群會延續教育中心導師的陶兆輝博士表示,NLP正是一門有助掌握情勢的學問,讓身處在不同情景中,也能應付不同的人和環境。

陶博士以挑選雞蛋作譬喻:「當你看到別人拿雞蛋對燈泡,若你只懂重複這串動作,而不了解背後的竅門,相信永遠不能百分百揀到好雞蛋。」NLP的精髓在於如何處理資訊,透過模擬(Modeling)、拆解一連串處理資訊背後的動機,再經過不斷的複製和鍛鍊,領略箇中的竅門,隨時在適合的情景下複製別人的成功技巧。

情景1:失業人士

長期未找到工作的人士,自然感到徬徨無助,坊間有成千上百的方法讓受挫的人重拾自信,但陶博士指「自我感覺良好」只是一瞬間,最終不能解決最現實的問題──「找不到工作」。

解難方法:複製他人的成功

陶博士:「不妨以成功找到工作的朋友作為模擬對象,研究他們在找工作、面試的每一個步驟和回應,從中不難發現自己的思維和行為的弱點,再作出適當的修正和提升,將別人的成功轉化為自己的成功方程式,是掌握致勝的關鍵。」

情景2:被裁一群

不幸被裁的上班族,在新工作面試時,往往對「被裁」感到難以啟齒,成為見工的絆腳石。

解難方法:切忌迴避被裁原因

陶博士:「在面試時,首先要明白僱主期望聘請一個怎樣的員工,這樣才能讓他明白你的專業對業務的幫助。在解釋被裁原因時,可重申每間公司有不同的營運策略,在金融海嘯下自己身處的崗位正好首當其衝,用以說明被裁員是大環境的影響,而並非個人問題。」

情景3:面試屢次失敗人士

很多人會埋怨,為什麼自己的學歷較別人優勝,但總是在見工面試時失利,究竟原因何在?

解難方法:把握時機推銷自己

陶博士提醒,一個面試的開始與結束是最關鍵的。「僱主一般會在面試的開始時決定不會聘請這個人,這個決定可能跟儀容、態度有關;而決定聘請一個人則要較長時間,關鍵更在最後一個問題:『有沒有問題?』,這時應徵者可以問:『你們是根據什麼因素聘請一個人?』,當僱主道出決定因素,此時你便可根據這些決定再推銷自己。」

NLP應用愈趨廣泛

陶博士重申NLP沒有一個既定的方法可以解決所有問題,因為不同情景和對象,解決方法也有所不同,這也是NLP最具挑戰性和實用之處。「NLP不是心理學,亦不是治療學,而我會將之歸類為知識論,NLP就是獲得有用知識的途徑之一。」

近年NLP已成為熱門的進修課程之一,不過,陶博士不諱言不少人對NLP存在誤解,以為NLP只是各種解決問題的方法和技巧,而忽視了模擬和掌握思維的竅門,那才是長遠的成功關鍵。

「早期學習NLP的人士,主要為了幫助別人,後來發展至將NLP的說服技巧、策略運用在營銷中。」隨NLP愈趨普及,大眾開始明白學習NLP是自我提升的方法,涉獵和應用的範圍更廣泛,除了商業、銷售,亦可應用於教育、培訓、轉導、自我改進等,加上全球經濟和社會急劇轉變下,學習NLP更是裝備自己的好方法。

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thinking: 語言中的結構與意義的關係

Hi,

說了那麼久的什麼執著堅持放棄取消,目的就是要帶出語言中的結構與意義的關係

弟只是以其中一種的語言結構來作為例子,從而說明其中的關係,回看例子:

『執著不要執著』是否執著?
『堅持不要堅持』是否堅持?
『放棄不要放棄』是否放棄?
『取消不要取消』是否取消?

1. 前後反饋的句子,可以很簡短,但結構也可以非常複雜;簡短但結構複雜的說話最易造成誤解


2. 避免誤解,首先先把內容移除,只看結構,明白了結構帶出的意義,才再次放回內容;上述的例子,已先把部份內容移除,但人是習慣連著內容來理解,因此覺得十分不慣。

『執著不要執著』放回內容後,可以是『執著不要執著先工作後遊戲』,或是『執著不要執著去愛人如己』,但跟移除內容後的『執著不要執著』理解起來沒甚分別,反而更少混亂,因為如果『執著不要執著』不是要執著,那麼『執著不要執著先工作後遊戲』與『執著不要執著去愛人如己』也一樣不是要執著!

但我們卻經常希望連帶內容來理解,結果亂上加亂!


3. 『堅持不要堅持』究竟是否要堅持呢?一般人先從內容意義上分析:

堅持 = 一定要
不要堅持 = 不要一定要
堅持不要堅持 = 一定要 不要一定要 = 不要一定要 = 不堅持 

很亂吧!

『取消不要取消』又是否取消呢?再來從內容意義上分析:

取消 = 不要
不要取消 = 照常進行
取消不要取消 = 取消照常進行 = 不要照常進行 = 取消

很亂吧?

更亂的是『堅持不要堅持』跟『取消不要取消』明明在結構形態是相同的,為什麼『堅持不要堅持』的意義是『不堅持』,而『取消不要取消』的意義卻是『取消』呢?

結構形態看似相同的言語,但引伸出來的意義卻可以大大不同!


4. 很亂,如何更易分析?從結構上分析

例一:『堅持不要堅持』,是堅持還是不堅持?

堅持=+
不要=-
堅持不要堅持 = (+-+) = (-) = 不堅持

例二:『取消不要取消』,是取消還是不取消?

『取消』是『-』的意義,因此,
取消 = -
不要 = -
取消不要取消 = (---) = (-) = 取消

再來一例,這次更連同內容來研究,例三:『放棄不要放棄與他合作』是合作還是不合作?

先抽走內容,變成簡單點的『放棄不要放棄』,『放棄』也是『-』的意義,因此,

放棄 = -
不要 = -
放棄不要放棄 = (---) = (-) = 放棄

放回內容:放棄與他合作=不合作

有人會這樣說話嗎?有,只是聽了別人說後,我們以為明白了,沒有加以考究而矣!


5. 若從結構來分析,更複雜等也能不被其混淆,看這一句:『應該要放棄堅持不要堅持去放棄與人合作』,那又是合作還是不合作?

句中的『』及『與人合作』是內容,先行抽走。

應該= +
要= +
放棄= -
堅持= +
不要= -
堅持= +
放棄= -

整體即是 = (++-+-+-) = -

放回內容:『與人合作

更簡單的方法來分析,就是把所有『』的也不用理會,反正『』不會影嚮結果意義,上述那麼複雜的句子,就等於『你---與人合作』,即是『與人合作』了。

有人這樣說話嗎?在一句中說成這樣就很少了,但一般人卻會把它們分成多句,但分析方法也是一樣。

我不是說語言結構只得上述一種,我只是想說明,從結構上理解意義,不是虛無抽象的東西,而是實在具體的方法,這也等於小弟經常在催眠治療師課程中常談到『不要介入受者的內容』,與及在NLP課程中說到的『從脈絡Context中看世事』!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, January 12, 2009

Concepts 101 Part 38: 拖延

Hi,

拖延,是很多朋友的習慣,熟悉NLP的朋友,自然知道,凡是習慣,必有Strategy在其背後,致令其不斷發生。

究竟拖延背後的策略又是什麼呢?

拖延難於改善,原因之一,就是拖延背後,可以基於超過一個策略,針對錯誤策略改善,自然難於生效。

決定是其一,推動是其二。

無法決定,當然議而不決;不能推動,自然決而不行;兩者兼備,難矣!

先找出問題根源,才對症下藥吧!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

NLP: NLP信念系統

Hi,

從NLP角度來看,信念是一個系統,信念相互緊扣互動,亦因此令改變信念這麼困難!

小弟最近在NLP課程中,談及了NLP的信念系統,其中談及了十項有關信念系統的要點,有興趣的朋友,可在此下載,作為小弟給大家的聖誕禮物

為方便大家,你可同時下載相關筆記

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Concepts Behind My Programs: NLP高階溝通研究

Hi,

NLP高階溝通研究NLP高階執行師課程的其中一個單元,她也是小弟舊單元高階催眠治療的更新版本,本單元表面是研究溝通,實質是進一步提升同學們的NLP模擬技術水平

課程是在研究溝通的兩個主要目的-發現說服

1. 先談發現,要以溝通來讓對方自行發現更多,就必須先明白人是被什麼蒙蔽了自己,令自己不能察覺更多。

2. 蒙蔽自己的,當然也是自己 (還有誰人能有這樣大的能耐能蒙蔽自己?)。

3. 為了更容易理解世界,更容易作出決定,我們的信念、價值觀、規則能自動地簡化了我們從外界現實世界中接收的資訊;世事簡化了,當然較易理解決定,但同時亦為自己帶來了誤導!這是第一層簡化

4. 我們思維時,我們與人溝通時,在心中被簡化了的資訊仍然過於複雜,於是乎再進行了第二層簡化,這樣,無論溝通或思維,也通通變得簡易多了,當然,亦同時帶來了第二次誤導,誤導了自己與及他人。

5. 要助人發現,因此我們需要兩層的回復第一層回復,先讓對方先從其說話中回復第二層簡化,促使其能確切地反映著他們心中真的所想,然後再以第二層回復,恢復其第一層簡化,來讓其所想的更吻合現實世界。

6. NLP用以回復的方法,就是Meta-Models了。

7. 至於說服,我們在課程中模擬催眠治療師的技術,因為成功的催眠治療,確實能說服對方從難題中跳出,走向更有效的解決方法中。

8. 催眠治療中的術前講解導入暗示,亦即是日常說服中的搖動注意轉移注意注意新事

9. 不先搖動對方的原有注意,你又怎能要他考慮新的事物呢?

10. 當成功搖動對方後,亦即他已從舊觀念中鬆開了手,你就可以進一步轉移他的注意,就好像在大海中緊抱浮木的人,你已令他鬆開了緊抱的手,便是時候令他完全放手,否則又怎能使他轉向你打算給他的新浮木?

11. 放手以後,你就要他注意新事,亦即是你想他相信的新事物、新觀念;你其實是在讓他看到另一塊新浮木,只要你那一塊像是浮木,他這時已經沒有了原有的那塊,又怎會不立即緊抱你的一塊呢?

12. 要他接受你的新浮木,重點是你那一塊必須看似一塊浮木,這就是暗示的功能了!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, December 22, 2008

Facilitation: 脫困之道 Part 2

Hi,

有朋友來電郵,詢問有關小弟之前的一篇文章-脫困之道,問題如下:

要自己知自己正在膠著,並不容易,而自己主動向外求解難方法,也不容易,因為自己都膠著了,最簡單問朋友,朋友很多時,只能做到情緒舒發的幫助,而朋友提供的解難方法,可能係盲人帶路,就是神父牧師社工,也未必幫到忙。

而自己不斷接觸多些外界新事物,上多D堂等,也未必對正解難方法,何況自己正在膠著;如果自己能做到抽離、超然或自我教練,或許幫到手,但此終不算脫困在於外

Keith可否講多幾句脫困在於外的指引、提示,相信同學們也會獲益良多。


小弟簡覆如下:

抽離超然當然不能算是脫困在於外,但其原理卻是一樣,當自己膠著時,再想也只是以自己的角度來看事物,用自己原有的信念來評估情況,多想只有更進一步相信,自己已是無望、無助、絕望,這也是為什麼之前小弟說的『致困在於內』,越想只會膠上加膠,向下沉淪,無法自拔。

脫困在於外重點其實在小弟的另一篇文章-『越早發現,越易脫困』中也曾輕輕帶過-找一個朋友,問問他你可能忽略了什麼,致令你得不到你想得到的結果、不開心、不滿意、或是失去自信?

找朋友來問,目的在於取得自己以外的角度,但一般人未有受過助人訓練,難於給你什麼解難方法,所以我們需要引導他來幫助自己,不是問他解困之道,而是問你自己可能忽略之處,問得答案越多越好,問得朋友越多越好,你就將擁有更多不同角度,然後才再自己思維吧!

膠著的時候,我們並非喪失了思維能力,只是老是想著相同的東西而矣!

放得下自己懂得去問人,才是脫困之道!

願諸位及小弟也能永不墮膠著深淵。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, December 08, 2008

NLP: 價值觀的價值觀

Hi,

NLP課程中,價值觀是我們經常研究的項目,因為她是NLP所謂的三大濾網之一,亦即是價值觀不斷在不自覺的情況下,影嚮著我們的選擇、決定及情緒,究竟什麼才是價值觀呢?

價值觀最簡單的定義就是個人認為重要的人事物。

即是如果你認為正義是重要的,正義可就是你的價值觀,同樣道理,你的子女、女友、老公、金錢、電飯煲也可以是你的價值觀!

什麼?電飯煲也可以算是價值觀,這是那碼子的道理?

一點也沒有錯,價值觀既可以是抽象的概念,如正義、安全、禮貌等,也可以是具體的人或物,只要是人重視的東西即可。

當然,價值觀也有分重要輕重的,最重要的是核心價值(Core Values),她規範著人的態度及特質,電飯煲應該較為困難成為任何人的核心價值吧!

至於週邊價值只是由核心價值演化出來的價值,舉例來說,如果某人的核心價值是安全,他會處處小心,謹慎可能會是這人的週邊價值之一。

而價值觀亦可分類為本質價值(Intrinsic Values)及手段價值(Instrumental Values),手段價值是一些人認為重要的工具或方法,來達成另外一些價值;本質價值就是她本身就是重要的人事物,而不是一種手段來取得其他價值;有智慧的人當然能夠明白,手段價值只是過程本質價值才是目的,而電飯煲可能只是取得『溫飽』這種本質價值的手段價值,更進一步,可能『溫飽』也只是邁向另一個目的的手段價值而矣。

如果人誤將週邊價值作核心價值、手段價值作本質價值,他的選擇及決定或會出現誤差,很多時他的行為想法就會本末倒置了。

核心價值與本質價值看起來很像,她們是否相同的東西?

當然不是,核心價值是最重要的價值,本質價值是某些價值後面的價值,電飯煲最後面的價值可能是『溫飽』,那是本質價值,但你可以認為『溫飽』對你來說並非最為重要,那『溫飽』就不是你的核心價值了。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Originally written on: Sept 25 2008

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Monday, December 01, 2008

Personal Development: 欣賞-令人令自己更快樂

Hi,

為什麼前兩天小弟提出了『私人調查:我是否一名出色的培訓師?』這個調查呢?

年紀大了以後,剩下時間不多,小弟已極少做沒有什麼意義的事了!

我們常說什麼人事物『阻住地球轉』,如果你研究 Systems ThinkingNLP 中的 Mental Models,你會瞭解到世上真的會有東西『阻住地球轉』的。

NLP中的 Mental Models 是研究人認為世事是如何運作的一門課題,她發現到有些人事物確實能促進某些事情發生,亦有些人事物卻會障礙應發生的事真的出現。

我想談及應發生的事是如何令自己或別人表現更好更快樂;能令這種事發生的東西有很多,但是有兩種卻是我們經常忽略的,第一種是感恩,第二種是欣賞

前者在前文已經談過,別人幫助了我們,我們不去感恩,除了忘恩負義之外,還障礙了這個『幫助-感恩-更多幫助』循環繼續流轉。

至於欣賞,我們更加缺乏,中國人的成長,感恩還是會的,雖然已經一代不如一代,『得人恩果千年記』是我們上一輩中國人重要邏輯之一;欣賞卻非常少見了,很多人心中仍隱藏著『欣賞-讚賞-驕傲』這種概念,致令欣賞更形旱見,反之批評則大行其道,因為我們更相信『批評-改進』這種觀念。

如果冷眼旁觀世事,究竟是『讚賞-驕傲』、『批評-改進』、『讚賞-更為努力』、『批評-每況愈下』多一點呢?

你自己本人又是那一種呢?

等待他人欣賞,有若櫞木求魚,但又可以怎樣?

自我欣賞要求欣賞又如何?

連自己也不欣賞自己,誰會欣賞你?在『私人調查:我是否一名出色的培訓師?』一文中,我說自己給自己一百一十分,你可說我不害羞,但自我欣賞一番,也能從中得著自我鼓勵;與其怨天尤人,恨別人不賞識,不及自我欣賞來得實際。

他人未有欣賞,可能只是掛萬漏一,也有可能不好意思直接道出,要求他人欣賞豈非更為直接?我們經常擔心孩子自信心不足,美加地區的成功方式之一,就是教導孩子自我欣賞,與及要求他人欣賞!你聽過你的孩子問你:Mom, are you proud of me? 你有否以我為傲?很少吧!但在美加等地,這卻是俯拾皆見。(可能有朋友會說,大家情況不同,不能直接仿傚,那我又想問問:有什麼情況不同,導致不能直接仿傚?)

小弟自己『不知廉恥』地公開示範了一次『要求大家的欣賞』,很感謝大家的包容與欣賞,一天之內,小弟收到了二百多封的欣賞電郵,再次衷心感謝,亦證明要求欣賞絕對是可行之法。

說到最後,欣賞自己或他人時,請緊記你的目的是欣賞,不是批評,不是不可批評,只是分開進行,因為當欣賞加上了批評等於什麼?你說呢?

『老公,你對我又體貼,又關心仔女,連我亞媽你都咁照顧,你真係一個百份百的好老公,但係/不過你搵得錢少呀!』,這是欣賞還是批評?

欣賞自己或他人時,放棄你的但係/不過,可能效果更勝多籌!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, November 22, 2008

Facilitation: 脫困之道

Hi,

承接上文,察覺了自己正在膠著 (Stuck),什麼是更有效的脫困方法呢?

請記著,膠著的原因一定在於自己,因為膠著是我們自己忽略了一些事情所導致的;但即時脫困方法,一定要針對外界,因為膠著的人,最難改變的正是自己;向外取得額外資源,方為上策!

否則以難解難,豈非難上加難!

但不幸的是,膠著的朋友,一般會把原因訴諸於外,認為是他人的錯,反而解決方法卻針對自己,又或想單以己之力來解決困境,結果更是膠上加膠,向下沉淪,無法自拔。

任何針對自己之法,皆非上策。

致困在於內脫困在於外,切記、切記!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

P.S. 長遠解難之策,當然之於自己!

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Facilitation: 越早發現,越易脫困

Hi,

昨天晚上的基礎個人輔引學課程剛開課,其中談及NLP中一個非常重要的課題-膠著 (Stuck)。

所謂膠著,就是動彈不得,想不通也行不得;什麼導致膠著呢?不知道自己不知道什麼也 (Unconscious Incompetence)。

若知道自己不知道什麼,自然能去發掘,解除膠著,得以脫困 (Unstuck)。

要脫困,首先就要知道自己正在膠著,不然那會主動尋求脫困之法,但是膠著的人,亦是最不能察覺的人,因此能認出膠著的特徵,乃脫困首要之門。

當你得不到你想得到的結果,當你覺得不開心不滿意,或是失去自信時,那正是膠著的時候,請你問問自己:我不知道的是什麼東西呢

得不到答案時,也就是向外尋找協助的時候,找一個朋友,問問他你可能忽略了什麼,致令你得不到你想得到的結果、不開心、不滿意、或是失去自信?

旁觀者清是不變道理,因為膠著的並不是他們!

越是膠著,越是胡亂處理,越令事情每況愈下,結果越是膠著!我們常說的『越窮越見鬼』、『屋漏偏逢連夜雨』就是這個道理;當你發現自己正在『頭頭碰著黑』的時候,你認為是最好的方法,通常也就是最差勁的方法,皆因膠著時,你根本不知自己在想什麼、做什麼!

越早發現自己正在膠著,越易脫困

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

P.S. 基礎個人輔引學課程NLP執行師同學的免費附加課程,如果你是我們的NLP執行師同學或畢業生,緊記下星期五是第二節,你也可免費報讀!

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Saturday, October 11, 2008

Coaching: 聆聽脈絡 (Context)

Hi,

差不多任何助人的技術,也在強調聆聽,教練技術的聆聽,又與其他的有什麼分別呢?

由於教練並不提供意見,只是在助人清晰思維,故教練聽的不是內容 (Content),而是脈絡 (Context),因為不清晰的思維,自有不清晰的脈絡,發現不清晰的脈絡,等於找到了對方可能的思維盲點

很多同學問我:脈絡不是仍要從內容中發現嗎?那怎可能不聽內容呢?

脈絡不是從內容中找到的,脈絡與內容是兩種不同的東西,但脈絡是從言詞中發現的,內容也是從言詞中發現的。

簡單來說,脈絡是言詞中內容以外的東西,其中可以包括言詞的結構 (Structure)、流程 (Process)、語調 (Tonality) 與及類別 (Category)等等。

教練主要是從對方言詞的結構找出潛在誤解,以發問來協助對方澄清。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Thinking: 相互影嚮的世界

Hi,

我們身處的,就是一個相互影嚮的世界,不是我在影嚮你,便是你在影嚮我

相互影嚮,可能是自覺的,但大部份是不自覺地影嚮著別人。

我們不想給人影嚮,最簡單的方法就是,不管對方是否在影嚮我,還是先下手為強,先影嚮別人,結果更多人在影嚮著更多人,但是除了這樣,還有別的方法嗎?

察覺對方在影嚮你,不被他影嚮,跳出這個相互影嚮的循環!

學習 Coaching 的重點,就是能察覺對方由於自己身在難題中,不自覺地把你帶進他的難題裡;察覺不了,你便跟他一樣地如在局中,那又怎能超然地以問題來讓他醒覺?(Coaching 同學:當你能聽出對方的 Openings 時,你就是在察覺出對方的影嚮了!)

學習 NLP 的重要得益,就是能察覺他人故意或不自覺的在影嚮你,繼而跳出對方的影嚮,做一個真正自由意志的人!(NLP 同學:當你聽出對方的 Language Patterns 時,你就是在察覺出對方的影嚮了!)

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

我的觀點極短篇: 有知識,窮不久?!

Hi,

最近在地鐵站看見一則廣告,標題:

有知識,窮不久;
無知識,富不長。


它是一則學校的廣告,正不正確先不談,但它卻是兩句極出色的NLP換框Reframing

什麼類型的換框?意義換框法也。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Originally written on: Aug 30 2008

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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Concepts Behind My Programs: 潛意識溝通學 HypnoCommunication

Hi,

潛意識溝通學 HypnoCommunicationNLP 執行師課程中的其中一個單元,也是小弟的 Hypno-Series 課程中第一個項目(其餘的包括:HypnoSelling、HypnoPersuasionLevel 3 Secrets 及 Mental Affecting Points Bootcamp)。

這個課程是基於以下指導原則而設計的:

1. 人的兩個意識均同時存在-顯意識及潛意識,你可以選擇與其中一個意識溝通,也可以同時與兩個意識對話。

2. 潛意識就是令你會說一些無意識的說話,或做了一些無意識的行為的那部份;說服就是令人無意識地做了決定

3. 潛意識有另一種不同於顯意識的文法,與潛意識溝通,就需先掌握這套不一樣的文法。

4. 潛意識溝通學是學懂如何有意識地與他人的潛意識溝通

5. 潛意識溝通學是以身或語言的無意識部份與人溝通,也可以是與他人無意識的部份溝通

6. 在人的潛意識中,最大的期望就是生存,再由生存這種期望延伸出各種主要次要期望、動機及希望得到的好處;針對這些就能好好說服別人

7. 想人接受你,你需要在心理上行得有咁近得咁近直至無可再近

8. 要成功說服,就以你的不舒服來換取別人的舒服。(不要以字面解釋!)

9. 由於你的潛意識是無意識的,她可以賣你也可以出賣你

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

NLP: 3種增長知識的知識論

Hi,

我常說NLP不是什麼治療技術,又不是什麼溝通技術,更不是什麼銷售說服技術,她只是知識論(Epistemology)的一種,所謂知識論,簡單來說,就是獲取知識的方法。

我們日常不斷不自覺地在運用三種知識論來學習,但這三種方式對大部份人而言,均是內隱 (Implicit) 的,故不能有意識地改進它們,要改進,就先把它們外顯 (Explicit) 出來:

1. 論證,即大眾所謂的推理也,但要論的有效,證得真實,懂一點點邏輯更能事半功倍;有效的論證,是哲學家們瞭解世界人生的利器。

2. 實驗,就是我們常說的『試試看』,要試得精確,至少也需逐點來試,更要比較做了及沒做有什麼分別;精確的實驗,是科學家社會學家們的重要工具。

3. 模擬,大部份人用的模擬就是分析,分析即是把事身分拆研究,從各個部份的特質來理解整體的特質。

除了分析以外,NLP也是利用模擬的,但她的目的不是希望知道事物的特質,而是用來瞭解事情是怎樣發生的;她也分拆,但她卻是分拆事情發生的次序,來瞭解發生的過程;理解發生的過程,就可以知道在最適宜在那裡介入,又或用之來學習他人的方法;要做好NLP模擬,重點就是在分拆時,要暫停分析判斷,否則便很易掉進先入為主的陷阱。

好好掌握過三個 (其實是四個) 取得知識的方法,學習就更能事半功倍了!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

NLP: 平反 NLP = 新紀元江湖技倆!

Hi,

上文提到,某位朋友在其網頁中指稱催眠術是邪術,小弟先前已表達了自己的想法,不再詳談。

但她也在另一篇文章認為 NLP 乃新紀元江湖技倆,作為 NLP 的研究者,怎樣也稍作回應:

1. 她謂:『NLP 開山先祖 Richard Bandler 和 John Grinder 書上有一個例,他們認為很多人的談話都容易落在三類型中,就是刪除(deletion)、寵統(generalization)、歪曲(distortion)。

乍眼看去,似乎是常理,再想,應該還有第四類﹕增添(addition),加鹽加醋之意。NLP師們可能解釋說,增添是歪曲的一種。那麼,難道刪除就不算歪曲?可見NLP理論本身就是刪除、寵統、歪曲。』


首先,作者自行代表了NLP師們自問自答,然後據此提出「NLP理論本身就是刪除、寵統、歪曲。」的結論,實在令人佩服,等於我說:「你一定認為自己很美麗,這就叫不知醜了」一樣強加於人。

在 NLP 中,增添確是歪曲的一種,而刪除就真的不算歪曲

每種學問,也有自己對名詞的定義,不能只以一般看法解釋;NLP 中的歪曲,意義是改變了原有模樣,不管是以增加、扭曲或是減少的方法來達成;而刪除是指直接把原有事/物的某些部份略去,基本意義沒有改變。

舉例來說,某人打你一巴,你只說某人打你,這是刪除,但你說某人以打你來侮辱你,那是同時以減少增加歪曲了。


2. 『Bandler 和 Grinder 說 ... 。譬如當事人說﹕「我很害怕。」治療員可以問﹕「害怕什麼?」但效果不如問說﹕「你試說﹕『我害怕我的父親』,看看是否適合你的情形。」作者們認為,這樣就可以找出深處的真相。

這樣的做法,似乎很有智慧,但 ... 當事人可能心亂如麻,所以自己無法整理清楚自己的思想和感覺 ... 他會說﹕「對,正是如此。」這樣就誤導了當事人。』


作者是依據 The Structure of Magic 一書第40-43頁來評論的,但作者卻沒有註明 Bandler 及 Grinder 也已在書中同頁,同時註明這樣做,會有可能不準確,作者不也把這些話也寫進去,會不會有點斷章取義呢?


3. 作者認為以說話中的 VAK 語句來評定對方大腦使用什麼來代表他的經驗是不正確的,作者寫道:『我無法把這一段對話翻譯為中文,因為如果譯了,「see」(Keith附註:原文英語是 I See) 就不是「看見」,而是「明白」!因為這不過是修詞學,並非人的大腦使用什麼來代表他的經驗!

... 讓我舉個例,如果我用英語講「I smell trouble.」,並不表示我注重嗅覺,因為我會用中文說﹕「我意識到有麻煩。」又如我用英文說﹕「I’ll be in touch with you.」,我並非注意觸覺,因為當我用中文講話,我說﹕「以後再聯絡。」

中國人的文學精深,形容詞豐富,聽覺視覺等等全都用上。若我使用「如雷貫耳」來形容人的名氣甚大,這不表示我是一個重聽覺的人;若我說一個年幼無知的人「乳臭未乾」,我沒有用我的鼻去嗅這人 ... 。』



首先,因為作者不是以英語作為母語,大腦必需先經翻譯,才能說出英語,那些英語已經不能代表大腦使用什麼來代表他的經驗。

再者,經過修辭後的母語,也已經不是原有的說話,以 VAK 語句來測定對方的慣常表象系統,必須是觀察其無意識的說話,我想我在課程中也提及,想以 VAK 語句來測定,並不容易。


4. 『NLP 又有一個理論,我暫且稱之為「眼碌碌」... ,因為很多NLP書籍都提及它 ... 這理論說﹕觀察人眼晴的滾動,你可以知道他怎樣處理資訊,明白他當時內心的活動,於是你可以根據他的方式,知道怎樣和他溝通。

... 如果一個人同時回憶一個視像,和與視像同來的聲音,又留意自己的感受(譬如,他回憶一次面對一隻巨大的惡犬,想到牠張牙舞爪的樣子、聽到牠兇猛的吠叫聲 、又想起自己當時慌張的感覺),這人的眼晴豈非不斷在「碌來碌去」?』


看書又怎能完全理解一門學問呢?

如果你上過小弟的 NLP 基礎理論單元,我也示範給你看過,人的眼球真的是會「碌來碌去」,只是「碌來碌去」的幅度極小,大部份人也沒有察覺而矣。


5. 作者認為,很多從事 NLP 的人也在從事新紀元活動,所以 NLP 就是新紀元活動:

『NLP是 John Grinder 及 Richard Bandler 二人在二三十年前,以 Fritz Perls 的「完形治療」(Gestalt Therapy)、Virginia Satir 的「家族治療」(Family Therapy)、Milton Erikson 的「催眠治療」為典範,發展的一套理論和技術。催眠術是新紀元邪術,想不必詳加解釋 ... 「完形治療」是一個帶有新紀元味道的治療學派,它被包括在人類潛能運動中。 Virginia Satir 亦推動新紀元觀念。

所以我們也常常看見 Grinder、Bandler 和晚輩們,都涉足新紀元事物﹕Bandler 教授 渡火(FireWalk); Grinder 和 Bandler 的得意門生 Lankton [xxxviii] 使用催眠術;NLP師 Joseph O’ Connor 在他的NLP書最後部分,有一段討論冥想。

台灣的「赫威思專業訓練中心」教授NLP, 同時開設氣功,催眠、靈氣,和一些算是新紀元心理學的課程 ... 這些全部都是新紀元技術和新紀元治療!

Grinder 和 Bandler 曾經有一個例﹕治療員讓當事人面對一張空椅子,指示他閉上眼晴,集中精神,讓自己在「心靈的眼晴」中看見這張椅子,又使用形容詞,將他的頭痛人格化,治療員繼續指示他深呼吸,同時「看見」頭痛從他的鼻孔漩出,離開他的身體,坐在椅子上。

請問NLP師的教導和靈媒的教導有什麼不同?』



就算 NLP 最初模擬的幾位朋友真的是什麼新紀元,但 NLP 不是用了他們的理論,而只是從模擬他們時,設計了 NLP 模擬技術,等於如果小弟從模擬殺人犯的經驗中,理解了模擬犯罪行為的模擬方法,那模擬方法就變成了犯罪行為了嗎?

再者,教授 NLP 的幾位朋友,同時參與了其他活動,那就等於 NLP 就是那些活動嗎?

舉例來說,有些學生在學校販毒,那麼學校就是販毒組織嗎?這正是 NLP 所指的寵統 (generalization)了!


6. 『NLP 前設之一是﹕「每人都已經具備使自己成功快樂的資源。」 就是說,任何人能做任何事,而不管在任何時候,人們總是傾向做對自己最有利的選擇。』


我真的看不出前後兩者的關係!我有資源,跟我會做對自己最有利的選擇有什麼關係呀?莫非你有錢,你就會為所欲為?!

亂扣帽子,文革也不外如是!

還有,這個前題假設的原文應是 People have all the resources they need to make the changes they want,意即每個人也擁有作出改變的資源,並非什麼成功快樂


7. 『另一前設是﹕「每個行為的背後都有正向的意圖。」太清楚了,這就是說,人無論做什麼,他的目的都是善良的。NLP師 O’Connor 說﹕「如果我們認為某些行為是負面的,那是因為我們看不見其目的,所以,甚至自殺也有一個正向的意圖。」這句話不但告訴我們,人性本善,而且也告訴我們,沒有什麼對、錯、道德。』


不去弄清楚便做結論,誤導大眾也!那個正向的意圖,是指對自己而言,正向也可以是錯誤的,懂一點 NLP 也知道是這個前題假設是指什麼吧!

NLP 認為,每個人也覺得自己的做法是對的,因為他們心中有著他們自己的正向的意圖,因此想勸導他人,應先由瞭解對方的正向的意圖開始,否則努力也是徒然。


8. 『還有一個前設﹕「只有由感官經驗塑造出來的世界,沒有絕對的真實世界。 」(The map is not the territory.)這個道理可說是模仿康德的哲學。假若我們不可能認識真理,只能知道自己的感受,難道NLP師們可以例外?無論他們發表什麼理論,也不過是他們自己的感受,不是客觀真理。這是一個循環邏輯!』


真實真理是兩個完全不同的概念,分不清楚的,就應先弄清楚才說;如果本身是清楚的,那就是故意誤導了!

這個前題假設想說明的是,人是沒法認識真實,因為無論怎樣觀察,也會被本身已有的想法及信念左右著,但 NLP 從未說過不能認識真理

再者,NLP 從來沒說 NLP 是什麼真理,她不是開宗明義地說明這些都是前題設嗎?


9. 『NLP的基本前設包括「有效用比有道理更重要。」,又表示﹕「沒有失敗只有回饋。行不通,就換個方式。」動機和方法不重要,重要的是效果。這就是實用主義﹕「只問成功、不擇手段。」』


誰說「動機和方法不重要」?不是說了「行不通,就換個方式」,那就是說方法是重要的。

有效用比有道理更重要」中的道理不是道德倫理的道理,原文的道理是 Truthfulness,那是指真相,因為世事難分真假,其中一個分辨真假的方法是:它能否帶來現實效果,亦即所謂是否有效;真的東西,自然吻合現實,當然能帶來效果。

行不通,就換個方式」就可以說成是「只問成功、不擇手段」,又來文革手法!?


10. 小弟唯一贊成作者的看法就是:NLP 並沒有太多科學證據

真正理解 NLP 的朋友,均不會把 NLP 當成什麼認真科學來看,我從來也認為 NLP 只是知識論的一種,絕對不是科學!

沒有太多科學證據的事物,除了 NLP 外,還有很多,是否凡是沒有科學證據的就是垃圾?

用回作者的結論:請你自己評量吧

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, August 16, 2008

Concepts Behind My Programs: 身心互動治療 Body-Mind Healing

Hi,

Body-Mind Healing 課程NLP 執行師課程其中一個重要單元。

她研究的是:身心究竟是如何互動!如果我們並不真的知道身心是如何互動,運用身心互動來提升身或心的健康只是空談而矣。

1. 實質證據:三十多年前,NLP 始創人只是通過觀察來發現身心互動,三十多年後的今天,科技日新月異,那還容許我們只憑相信她是互動,便說她是互動,應該有點實質證據吧!本單元就是要向大家一同分享這些 (原來是大量!) 的實質證據。

2. 互動關鍵:身與心的互動關鍵在於情緒,負面情緒直接影嚮人體的神經系統、內分泌系統,及免疫系統,繼而影嚮我們的健康。

3. 錯誤適應:為什麼不少人會長期受到負面情緒的影嚮呢?因為他們為了滿足某些基本需要,卻習慣地用錯方法,非但不能成功,還越使用越不能滿足;例如某些人希望得到安全感,卻以倚賴別人的方法取得,但越是倚賴,別人越感煩厭,越是希望擺脫對方,到頭來越得不到安全感。

4. 信心治療:相信能得到健康的人,是否比不相信的人更健康呢?答案是絕對的。但如何相信,或如何令人相信才更能發揮效果呢?關鍵在於四種信念-期望意願定型意義

5. 實施工具:如何具體實施身心互動治療呢?我們通過教練技術來讓人發現忽略了的事實,以作業來進一步讓其自行發現更多資源及方法,更可讓其掌握必須的正面應付機制來處理日常壓力及情緒,三管齊下,促成人能為自己製造更多選擇,自脫困境!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, August 07, 2008

NLP: Meta On Positions 是否只是 Meta On NLP 的認知位置?

Hi,

答案是:

Meta On Positions 正是 Meta On Perceptual Positions (認知位置),但認知位置卻不是只得三個 (第一自己位置第二他人位置第三超然位置),基本上還有第四整體位置第4.5超然整體位置第五超然時間空間位置

而且第一自己位置也可以有不同的選擇,你既是你的兒子的父親,但也可以是你的父親的兒子,更可以是想像的第一位置,如你是你的子女的朋友、你不是你的子女的父親等;第二他人位置也不只限於是對方位置,更可以是世上任何一人,甚至是動物、死物也可!

第四位置第4.5位置中的整體也可以 Chunk Up & Down 地擁有大量不同的變化選擇,第五超然時間空間位置也可以站在不同的時間、空間上!

那就是說,縱使只是 Meta On 認知位置,她卻有無限數量的選擇,要做到 Meta On Positions 也不簡單!

我經常這樣想:如果世上真的有天主、上帝、神仙、佛菩薩,他們就是最能 Meta On Positions 的了,人類看不通的,他們看通了!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
  

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NLP: 商界好奸!

Hi,

上月中新任商務及經濟發展局局長劉吳惠蘭履新,電台播放她的一段錄音訪問,有這樣一段令人嘩然的對白:『我從來無諗過入商界,商界好奸,商界非常兇險,為錢可以你爭我鬥、不擇手段,當人係賺錢機器,無人受到尊重。

雖然這已是舊聞,而且本欄並非討論政治,但它卻是一項很好的教材,用作理解什麼是 Meta On Positions

就算她不是商務及經濟發展局局長,但也是該局的常務秘書長,工作就需與商界打交道,這樣勁踩商界,莫非她精神有點問題?

她當然精神沒有問題,否則怎能在政府打滾三十二年,而且還身居要職!

那她是什麼問題呢?

沒有 Meta On Positions!沒有察覺講這等話時,自己正在什麼位置,與及應在什麼更適合的位置

能察覺自己當下的位置及能察覺有什麼更適合位置選擇,就是 Meta On Positions

但她卻能成為二人之下,萬人之上,是否 Meta On Positions 並不重要呢?

成功失敗絕非單憑一種能力,劉太當然有著她成功的條件,不容置疑,況且從事公務員,自有一套不同的生存上位法則,但現在她卻要粉墨登場,做其政治任命官員,那套法則就未必管用,而且那更是一個跟公務員絕對不同的位置

那又有什麼人的 Meta On Positions 做得不錯呢?看看她的舊上司過去的表現,就是另一種最佳教材。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, August 04, 2008

NLP: Advanced Modeling Part 2 - Basic Modeling 基礎模擬

Hi,

Part 1 談到要精確地模擬,就先需掌握他人的目的及事情的來龍去脈,今期要講的是什麼才是真正的 NLP Modeling

NLP 本身就是 Modeling,而不是 NLP Skills,太多學習 NLP 的朋友誤會了以為自己在學 NLP,實則他們只是在學習 NLP Skills,NLP Skills 只是 NLP Modeling 的產物,而不是 NLP 本身,本人兩年前曾撰文解釋,詳情可參閱該文

但究竟 NLP Modeling 又是什麼?這是更多學習 NLP 的朋友深感迷惑之處。

為什麼呢?因為 NLP 兩位創辦人均沒有清晰定義什麼才是 NLP Modeling!
他們均分別提出了 NLP Modeling 的特徵,但卻沒有說明她是什麼!

一般被接受的定義,就是把人類行為表面結構 (Surface Structure) 下的深層結構 (Deep Structure) 外顯出來;所謂表面結構,就是我們日常的所說所做,下面的深層結構就是在我們表面所說所做時內心中的所想

NLP Modeling 是把表面的所說所做的每一個步驟,相對應深層結構的所想的每一個步驟,依先後次序地顯露出來,形成 NLP 所謂的策略 (Strategy),我們便能從策略中更瞭解掌握自己或他人的行為,要學習、要改善、要影嚮便變得容易!

NLP Modeling 與一般分析模擬 (Analytical Modeling) 不同之處,在於後者研究心中所想的內容 (Content),而前者卻是研究其 Context,即每一步驟所想的資訊形態-視覺、聽覺或觸覺。

兩種 Modeling 並不存在優劣之分,只是研究對象不同而矣,兩者俱用,相得益彰。

上圖中最下層是深層結構,Modeling 時,就是把深層結構外顯至上圖中間那層的表面結構中,形成一條像公式似的策略,圖中的 ABC 則在顯示不同資訊形態的先後次序。

舉例來說,某人的行為表面上是先貶眼,再抹咀,研究之後,發現原來相對應的深層結構,是先想到一幅他人出錯的圖象,再在心中跟自己說:『還好不是我在犯錯!』,那他的策略就是先視覺資訊,後自我對話的聽覺資訊。

知道了又有什麼用?舉例來說,如用於影嚮他人,下次再發現他在先貶眼,再抹咀時,你大可問他剛想到了什麼的景象,又或問他跟自己說了些什麼?

如果用於學習他人某項技術時,你也可以上述模擬方法,除了看他是怎樣做外,還能察知他心中每個步驟是如何思維的,你就能學得不只徒具外,連心中的核心精也能掌握,那就形神俱備了!

這就是 NLP 的基礎模擬了。

至於上圖最上層的又是什麼,她是小弟所謂的 Meta Structure,那就是與小弟提出的 Advanced Modeling 有關了;如何能更高階地模擬,下回續談。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: 最重要的 NLP 知識 - Meta On Positions

Hi,

小弟今天剛在 NLP Master Practitioner 課程中講及,究竟什麼才是最重要的 NLP 知識?

小弟學習 NLP 凡二十載,最重要的得著,固不是什麼 NLP 技術,又不是什麼 NLP 模式或概念,亦不是我向來認為十分重要的 NLP 之根本-模擬 (Modeling)。

那又是什麼呢?

Meta On Positions!

不是 Meta-Position,而是 Meta ON Positions

Meta-Position 超然位置是 NLP 一個重要的概念,它令人能以『我什麼也不知道』的思維框架來看人事物,從而更能看清狀況。

比她更重要的是 Meta ON Positions,只差一字,但結果卻是全然不同。

Meta ON Positions 是時刻都能察覺自己正在什麼位置上 (即 NLP 所謂的認知位置 Perceptual Positions-第一自己位置、第二他人位置、超然位置等等),即俗語所謂『知掟』也。

這裡的 Meta 一字,是動詞,而非在 Meta-Position 一詞中的形容詞!

Meta ON Positions 重於 Meta-Position ,皆因你若不知自己現在身處什麼位置,你又怎能察覺需要轉換位置呢?不察知位置,只知有超然位置,那只是得物無所用,空口說白話而矣!

Meta ON Positions 當然比 Meta PositionMeta 了 !能 Meta ON Positions,自然能令自己保持在最適當的位置上,能超然於自己、他人、超然的位置上,當然能吸收最多的資訊,做到 NLP 的最終目的!(什麼是 NLP 的最終目的,下回分解)

如何能做到 Meta ON Positions 呢?時刻問自己:我現在是在什麼位置

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Explore

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Friday, August 01, 2008

NLP: Advanced Modeling Part 1

Hi,

另類埃及學 Part 4 - 不同的人,看出不同的事一文提到了看事物必需先瞭解事件相關人物的目的,及需知道事件的來龍去脈,才是真正的掌握。

這實在與NLP的更高層次的模擬 (Advanced Modeling) 有著極大的關係。

NLP的模擬,目的好像只是用於學習他人的技術,但她實在是瞭解世界的重要工具。

真正懂得NLP的朋友,並不是在用NLP的那過千種的技術,而是運用NLP的模擬技術來瞭解世事的發生過程,從而令自己的主觀認知更為真確。

基礎的NLP模擬,是把人的表面行為底下的深層層次依次序地顯示出來,形成NLP所謂的策略 (Strategy),亦即人在心中是做了什麼來達致那個表面行為,舉例來說,你在模擬你的同事是如何講大話來騙你,你就是在研究他心中先想什麼,然後再想什麼,如此類推,直至完成講大話的整個過程。

這樣的基礎模擬,對簡單的行為的掌握十分適用,但較複雜的行為,就好像講大話,你就只是知道了他在想什麼來完成這個行為,但卻不知道他是如何決定要想那些想法,亦即是你只知他想的 What,而不知他的 How to Think What

NLP的高階模擬,除了顯示以上的深層層次外,你至少還要瞭解對方的表面行為的目的、心中每項思想的目的、以及他的行為的來龍去脈,就上例來說,來龍去脈就是他騙你的前因後果

這樣你才更能掌握他的行為,不論你是要學他騙人,還是要察覺到他的大話,或是要避免給他欺騙,又或是要改善他這個壞習慣,這樣的模擬才能達到目的,這才是真正的NLP模擬。

至於高階模擬還需知道什麼,下回分解。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

我的觀點: 介紹書藉

Hi,

很多同學都叫我介紹課程相關書藉,我其實是不太願意的,因為如你閱後覺得不好,又好像是我騙了你;但實在太多朋友再三要求,故決定建議以下的書藉,每個課題一至兩本,全是小弟至今仍一再翻閱的,好不好自行決定。

催眠治療

1. Methods and Uses of Hypnosis and Self-Hypnosis, by Bernard Hollander. 1953年出版的『古書』,但比近年的大量新書,好上了不知多少倍,我不停的看完又看,買不買到,看你有沒有運氣了。(剛在Amazon訂了一本,打算送人)

2. The Patterns of Hypnotic Techniques of Milton Erickson Book 1 & 2, by Richard Bandler & John Grinder. 我們的 Master Hypnotherapist 同學必讀的課本,要深入學催眠,不可不讀!(台譯中文版稱作『催眠天書』)

NLP: Magic of NLP Demystified, by Byron Lewis & Frank Pucelik. 不是一本一味只談一大堆NLP技術的書藉,她真的很清晰地解釋NLP的基本概念,包括了我相信很多 NLP Practitioner 甚至是 NLP Trainer 也攪不清楚的基本原則。

Coaching: The Inner Game of Tennis, by Timothy Gallwey. 這不是一本教練學的專書,但她是教練學鼻祖 Timothy Gallwey 的第一本著作,有了這本有關網球教練的書,才有今天的教練學,不論你想瞭解的是個人教練,還是企業教練,必看!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

NLP: 主觀存在的時間

Hi,

上星期的Master NLP Practitioner課程的高階時間線技術單元中,其中一個重點是:時間只有主觀存在沒有客觀存在

你看不到時間,聽不到時間,更不能接觸時間,時間是沒有客觀存在的,她只存在在於人的心中。

與時間相同性質的記憶(你心中的過去)及期望(你心中的未來),也是只有主觀存在,沒有客觀存在!

由於沒有客觀存在,等於她是怎樣的,也是沒有錯誤的,亦等於你怎樣想你的過去,與及你的未來,也是沒有錯誤的!

但她們卻影嚮著你,影嚮著你的現在

如何決定怎樣想,自己想想吧!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, June 09, 2008

Thinking: Rethink Part 2

Hi,

Rethink 就是『再度思考』。

在之前回應二了君時,曾說Rethink有兩個層面,在此加以解釋:

1. 當我們有一個想法時,在決定前請先Rethink:它是真的有理有據,還只是我們心中的意見,未加證實的呢?

2. 當我們面對大眾或傳統的想法時,在贊同之前,也請先Rethink:它是真的有理有據,還只是大眾心中的意見,未加證實的呢?它會否在前人的時代仍是有理有據,但那些理據還是否現實(現在仍是真實)呢?

不Rethink,我們不是在製造知識,而是為自己加添假設(即NLP所謂的Filters濾網)而矣!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

轉載: 軟硬知識並重修讀NLP 改進自己 增競爭力

轉載:明報JUMP
2008-02-22

職場中人欲「更上一層樓」,持續進修幾乎已是不二法門。然而,近年愈來愈多人了解到在追求「硬知識」同時,亦不應忽略改善自身溝通技巧、創造性等的「軟知識」,讓自己有更大的改進空間,從而提升個人的競爭力。「NLP身心語言程序學」這門研究身、心、語言互動關係的實用心理學,近年已漸受商界、教育培訓、管理階層等不同階層人士認知與應用,箇中的精髓你又掌握多少呢?

「以往港人眼中的『進修』只得兩類,一是能讓人掌握『硬知識』,對事業有即時幫助的課程,如會計、工商管理等;另一類就是純粹為興趣而讀,如繪畫、跳舞等。」

進修要全面 軟硬知識不可缺

聖雅各福群會延續教育中心(簡稱聖雅各)經理劉遠章表示,港人在進修上述兩類課程的同時,有沒有想過溝通技巧、自我反省能力、思考批判,以至創造性等的「軟知識」,都是達至自我成功的關鍵。

聖雅各一直強調進修需要有「整全概念」,因此透過舉辦不同「軟知識」範疇的課程,如NLP成功策略、懶人管理學、人際心理學、口才提升等形形色色的課程,提醒忙於工作、忙於進修的香港人,要謹記「軟硬兼施」,透過多元化進修,才算是整全吸收知識。

其中聖雅各的重點課程之一,是早於10年前,已開始邀請專業導師舉辦一系列NLP身心語言程序學課程,劉遠章表示,NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)是一種促進行為轉變的「自我成功學」,對於身處在這個大都會、工作繁忙的香港人來說,NLP有助他們在事業或人生有更多角度的體會。

NLP適合繁忙都市人修讀

與中心合作多年、本身是認可NLP導師、認可專業企業教練導師及註冊催眠治療導師的陶兆輝博士認為,NLP並非屬於「有錢人」才有條件認識的概念,因此他希望透過開辦課程,讓更多人能認識NLP的理念,從而在日常生活或工作派上用場。

「NLP是一套知識論,藉觀察人的身體動作、行為、語言,以了解和分析人的思想行為;因此深入掌握NLP後,便能創造一套最適合自己、獨一無二的思考方式,從而達至成功。」劉遠章及陶博士兩人不約而同表示,許多接觸過NLP的學員,會重新以另一個角度反思人生,審視自己的生活,努力建立適合自己的生活模式及節奏。

辦免費課程 學習5大範疇

今年聖雅各將繼續與陶博士合辦一個完全免費的「NLP Essentials身心語言程序學精要技術課程」,為不同階層、有志自我改進的人士,提供認識NLP的機會。

劉遠章表示,這個以講座形式舉行的免費課程已經是第五屆,每次反應均非常熱烈,以去年為例,由於向隅人數太多,決定加開課程,結果兩輪課程吸引了逾千人報讀︰「開辦免費課程令更多人認識NLP,並用這些技巧幫助自己和他人,一方面令NLP普及化,另一方面也可令更多人受益。」

陶博士補充,今年的課程共分為五堂,每堂會環繞不同的主題,包括:

.學會學習:認識有什麼會阻礙我們學習,及如何消除這些「阻隔物」,達至有效學習。

.取勝之道:學習如何能達到目的,探討取得「成功」的共同因素。

.助人提升:如何掌握NLP技巧,助人自助。

.自我催眠:認識催眠對改進自我身心表現的幫助,揭開催眠的「神秘」面紗。

.身心健康:認識何謂壓力,及應付壓力的正確心態,從而促進身心健康。

「成功需苦幹」是千古不變的定理,但隨社會變遷,劉遠章認為這定理也需要與時並進,除了刻苦努力,亦要掌握及活用各種軟知識和技巧,掌握到身、心和語言間的互動關係,做一個活得精彩的成功人士。

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

NLP: NLP是否心理學?

Hi,

NLP是否心理學? 這是最近收到另一條的問題。

我的看法是NLP不是心理學,我是根據兩點得出這樣的結論:

1. NLP的兩位始創人Richard Bandler及John Grinder本身也不是心理學家,硬說他們創立的是心理學似乎有點兒嬉。

2. 他們兩位也沒有指NLP是屬於心理學,他們對NLP的定義分別是『主觀經驗的結構的研究及從中可計算出什麼』及『偵測和使用世界上的模式的一種快速學習策略』,他們的定義也看不出什麼心理學的含意。

我反對NLP是心理學的主因在於不想誤導大眾以為學懂NLP就能為別人進行心理治療,那是極度危險的想法,雖知一位臨床心理學家需接受複雜而詳盡的培訓,除了學會如何治療外,更重要的是懂得診斷,連對方是什麼問題也弄不清,談何治療?

NLP培訓當中或許涉及一點類似心理治療的技術,但百多小時的課程中,根本沒有與診斷相關的培訓,更沒有心理學基本的知識傳授,況且大部份NLP Trainers也不是臨床心理學家;學會NLP就能成為心理治療師只是一些不負責任的宣傳,亦只能吸引一些又不想付出,但又想得到的人報讀而矣。

我反對的不是『NLP是心理學』,而是反對『NLP是心理治療』;廣義地來看,心理學Psychology是研究人的Psyche的學問,Psyche就是人的想法、行為及性格,而NLP實在也是在研究人的想法與行為,故稱NLP是心理學的一個旁支也未嘗不可。

重要的是:NLP絕非心理治療

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: 簡單生活的假設

Hi,

最近收到一位剛上畢NLP Essentails的朋友的一條有趣的問題,想與大家享一下,他的問題是:你又提議簡單生活,但你又戴耳環,那豈非自相矛盾?

初時感覺有點難以明白,戴耳環與簡單生活有何相干?

想深一層,可能這正是 NLP 說的假設 (或稱濾網 Filters) 的影嚮,戴耳環=複雜生活!

戴耳環=發姣 (幣啦,粗俗了點!) 還能明白,而且我還會立刻承認,但戴耳環又如何能令生活複雜了呢?

戴耳環不會,但硬要擁用一百幾十對,而且每天還浪費時間考慮配戴那一對的就會複雜了!

假設就是有這種能耐,它能把不相關的變得相關,正如在 NLP Essentials 課程中講及的,沒有依據的假設就最能誤導自已

簡單生活絕非有如僧人、修士或某些修行者過的生活,否則一般平凡人諸如我等又能如何適應呢?

簡單生活是能分清楚自已的需要(Needs)與想要(Wants),不把想要誤作需要,徒令自已浪費精力、時間、金錢;節省下來的資源,更能集中於自已真正的目標(Goals)及目的(Purposes)上。

簡單生活的人,當然仍可過著自已喜歡的生活方式,而非只是刻苦單調的日子,否則貧窮的人都是過著簡單生活?有時恰好相反,有些人正由於複雜生活而導致貧窮。

記得到了 NLP Essentials 課程終結,小弟重申課程重點時,就提到三個字:分真假,這其實也是整個 NLP 的重點!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, April 28, 2008

NLP: Filters 的7種來源

Hi,

NLP經常提及Filters這個重要概念,它即是我們自覺或不自覺的假設,亦即是我們的價值觀規則信念,它們把外界資訊過濾後,剩下的才進入我們的思想中。

我們的價值觀、規則與信念越不現實、真實,我們最後收到的資訊也變得越不現實、真實,這亦是我們判斷錯誤的主要原因。

在過去九屆的NLP執行師課程中,好像也沒有詳細提及這些Filters的具體來源,我們只提及它們是我們人生經驗的結果;但由於Filters對我們來得這麼重要,本屆的課程決定詳加剖析,並節錄如下:

1. 共識:大家也贊同的,那還會是假是錯?

2. 權威:權威人物的意見,當然也是正確的吧?

3. 長期性:長期以來也是這樣,肯定不會是錯的!

4. 啟示:有些東西並沒有明確表達,但它們是基於某些不可質疑的事物得出得的啟示,那亦應是不可質疑吧?宗教經典是其中一個例子,信眾們對經典上的說話理應不可質疑,但由人演繹經典的解釋又如何呢?

5. 事實相符:如某些事是與另一些『事實』『相符』的,它們也應該是事實吧?

6. 語言:不同的語言背後代表著不同的文化,使用某一種語言時,我們就被該語言背後的文化影嚮著我們的思維。

7. 科學:科學研究的結論當然是可信吧?但那些極像科學的『偽科學』呢?

能質疑這些來源,我們便更能自我察覺了,但你必要先能察覺它們的存在,而且在質疑時還要承受著很大的壓力呢。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

NLP: NLP不是職業訓練

Hi,

每年這個時候,不少朋友電郵給我,詢問我有關NLP執行師課程的資料,其中一條十分熱門的問題是:NLP執行師畢業後有什麼事業發展機會?

我必須聲明,NLP執行師畢業後,是沒有什麼事業發展機會的!

因為NLP根本不是什麼職業訓練!說NLP有什麼事業發展途徑的人,只是吸引你報讀而矣。

NLP是研究人的思維的學問,她是一門讓人自我提升的知識論,學懂後並會去運用的話,你將提升自己的競爭能力,但我相信,沒有人會因為你有一紙NLP執行師證書而聘用你的!

有人認為,學NLP可以成為NLP Trainer,那不是很好的事業發展嗎?

不少人是這樣想的,香港現在有NLP Trainer證書的人可不少呢?但又有多少人能以此維生呢?想深一層,當你還未懂得鋸木,你打算去學木工初班,但已決定要以教授木工作為事業的下一步,會否有點不可思議?

成為一個能教授木工的師傅,他除了紥實地懂得木工外,還需加上多少年的經驗?你會否跟一個剛學完了木工初班、進階班及『師傅班』的『師傅』學習木工呢?

又有人說,學習NLP可以成為一個心理治療師,那是一個更危險的想法!人家要成為一個心理治療師(香港稱為臨床心理學家),也要至少完成相關的學士課程,再修讀臨床心理學碩士課程,才能執業,短短一百幾十小時的NLP課程能訓練你成為心理治療師?勿害人害已吧!

輔導員可以吧?輔導也是一門專業,也需完成好幾年的課程才有資格呢!

如果想有事業發展機會的朋友,NLP不是你的最佳選擇;如果只是想改進自己,NLP將為你帶來不少新的空間。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

NLP: 周星馳電影 - 我的看法

Hi,

早前讓大家猜了一個謎,猜的是周星馳近期的三部電影有什麼共通點,並與他以前的有什麼不同,多謝很多朋友的意見,現在聽聽我的看法,不一定是對的,只是一個NLP模擬練習:

她實在太像蝙蝠俠了!

1. 沒有時代背景,或可稱之為跨時代亦可,什麼時候看也不會脫節。

2. 沒有地理背景 (去香港化),或可稱之為跨地域亦可,什麼人看也能代入。

3. 犮暗的氣氛,很多人的心態,更易引起大眾共鳴。

4. 由小變大,由失敗變成功,很多人的願望,令更多人在電影院中滿足未能達成的意願 (很Freud吧,以前/現在的咸旦超人不也是同一橋段嗎?)。

5. 由多變少,由以往的電影全都集中在周生一人,到少林足球中多了幾個師兄弟,再到了功夫時變成了群戲為主,最後到了長江七號時成為配角,他的幕前淡出很明顯吧!

6. 由大變小,以往的電影,星女郎是話題之一,他也捧紅了不少女星,不知是否捧紅了的不再聽話,少林足球的女主角變成醜角,功夫中的包租婆演出比女主角還要多,到長江七號可說沒有了女主角,最大的女主角年僅8歲,還要反串男孩,周生的電影女主角由大變小了。

我想提及的是,欣賞電影的內容時,順道看一下她的Process, Structure, 及Context,也能訓練多一點Meta。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

NLP: 流程與結構 Process & Structure

Hi,

前天晚飯後回家時,路經觀塘繞道向將軍澳方向,路面突然三線縮為一線行車,險象橫生可想而知,那封了的兩線又看不出有什麼工程進行,原來在封路的位置約二、三百公尺以外,有一點點工程正在進行中。

更要命的是,封路處前方就是觀塘繞道往觀塘的分支路,試問剛突然由三線縮為一線,驚魂未定之際,又再有些司機因考慮轉線而有所猶疑,車速往往突然減慢,後車反應不及的話,不生意外才怪。

三線縮為一線,就是在NLP中提及的流程 Process往觀塘的分支路,就是NLP中的結構 Structure;難題及解決方法均可出自 Process及/或 Structure,這是NLP給我們模擬研究難題的方法 (Modeling of a Problem)。

舉例來說,他們大可以先由三線縮為兩線,再縮為一線,那就會變得更為安全,這是從 Process模擬出來的解決;把封路位置稍為移前一點,增加封路位置與分支路的距離,就是從 Structure模擬出來的解決。

如果改為深夜時才進行工程,成本可能增加了一點,但更少擾民及危險 (日本的公共工程,除非緊急以外,全都在通宵進行!),這是從 Process中的時間上入手;又如果在可能的情況下,先維修一線的路面,然後才修理另一線,那就無需封了兩條行車線,這又是否會為大眾帶來更多的安全和方便呢?這是從 StructureProcess兩方面同時著手的結果!

可想而知,NLP絕不只是用點說話或想象方式來騙騙別人或自己的玩意!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, February 09, 2008

NLP: 模擬美國

Hi,

NLP的重點在於模擬 (Modeling),但一個國家可否被模擬?我們嘗試模擬美國的成功之處,她的成功之處在那呢?

強大的軍事力量?
國人的自信心?
還是她的政治架構?

且看一下前聯儲局主席格林斯潘在其新著作The Age of Turbulence: Adventures in a New World的一句話:我逐漸相信美國經濟的最大強項在於她的彈性-她重拾殘破,恢復原貌的能力,而且經常以你無法預測的方式及速度進行。

這不就是NLP經常提及的選擇彈性嗎?亦即是NLP的基本前提假設之一:越多選擇越大成功嗎?這亦即是上述前提假設的背後原理-『越多選擇令你越具彈性,越具彈性越令人無法預測你』嗎?

她的自由令她擁有越多選擇,你在容許自己自由地選擇嗎

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, January 21, 2008

Personal Development: 模擬成功人士

Hi,

多年來,我不斷在模擬(Model)成功的人士,希望找出一點共通的蛛絲馬跡,作為自己的努力方向。

多年來研究的結論,發現兩點,但要做到絕不容易。

1. 成功的人都是會思維的人,他們之所以能成就大事,因為他們願意去思維,並懂得思維之道,沒有思維,那會有合理的行動?沒有合理的行動,那有成功的結果?

2. 成功的人都是相信可能的人,他們不是悲觀(Negative)的人,也不是樂觀(Positive)的人,而是相信凡事均有不同可能性(Possibilities)的人。悲觀的人看不到希望,更沒有動力行動;樂觀的人易於忽略危機,只有相信可能的人會努力發掘機會,更能看出事情的正反兩面,亦即更能面對現實。

最後,成功的人很多也是很會失敗的人,他們能所謂『向前失敗』,從失敗中掌握思維失誤之處,更能從失敗中學懂自己忽略的可能性,這樣就能沒有浪費失敗,真正『成功地失敗』!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

P.S. 有興趣瞭解更多如何『成功地失敗』,可參閱 http://www.failogy.com/ 48條失敗學原理

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Friday, January 18, 2008

NLP: 周星馳電影

Hi,

學習NLP最重要就是要培養敏銳感官(Sensory Acurity);而NLP中最重要的技術就是模擬(Modeling)。

今天和大家玩一個以敏銳感官來模擬的遊戲,星爺近年的三套電影風格與他以前的大有不同,但卻有著同一種氣氛,貫徹始終,那是什麼樣的一種氣氛呢?

可參考下列三套電影片段,稍作瞭解:











Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Concepts 101 Part 17: Truth

Hi,

The Truth is NOT Real! The Truth is NOT the Reality!

The Reality is what really happened and/or happening in the Outer World. The Truth is what one thinks is really happened and/or happening outside.

In a narrow sense, Truth is something in agreement with the Reality. So Truth is not Reality. According to ancient Greek's philosophers, Truth is the accurate representation of the Reality. Therefore, one's thought is a Truth when it accurately describes the Reality.

Truth is just a thought!

In NLP, a Truth is part of our Inner World of Thoughts that is very "near" to the Reality. This is only possible when our Filters of Beliefs, Values and Rules are in agreement with the Reality.

Verify our Filters in order to get more Truths.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Concepts 101 Part 16: Reality

Hi,

What you think about the Reality is NOT the Reality. It is just your Thought!

The Reality is EVERYTHING happened and happening in the Outer World. So, no one really knows the Reality (except God or Buddha).

The more information we get from and about the Reality, the nearer are our thoughts, and then our actions to the Reality.

The very basic concept of NLP is "The Map is not the Territory". What we perceived and think is our Map only. It is just our representation of the Reality. Some maps are more precise than the other maps. Some thoughts are also more precise than the other thoughts. But none of them are the Territory/Reality.

Don't argue and don't insist on anything. Rather, get more information to prove!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, December 03, 2007

NLP: 2 Matrix in Your Mind

Hi,

The Trilogy of the Matrix Movies provides us a great insight: We are all living in a Matrix. It is NOT Real!

It is not "We" controlling ourselves but our Matrix of Thoughts controlling us! A Matrix causes us confusion as there are layers and layers of stuff there interlinking and interacting.

Even worse, there are more than ONE Matrix in our Mind. There are 2 Matrix there!

1. The Matrix of our Thoughts & Feelings. That's our Inner World (腦內世界). Our thoughts and feelings are the distorted, deleted and generalized version of the Outer World of Reality, i.e. they are not reality.

Furthermore, we do not just think or feel. We think our thoughts, we feel our feelings, we think our feelings and we feel our thoughts and which in turn creating even more unreal thoughts and feelings! It is a Matrix!

2. The Matrix of our Beliefs, Values & Rules (our Filters). It is our Filters that distort, delete and generalize the Outer World of Reality into our Inner World of Unreal Thoughts and Feelings.

Individual Belief, Value, & Rule do not exists independently. They influence each others to create even more Filters. Our Values influence our selection of Beliefs and Rules under different situations. They also create our Beliefs and Rules. Our Beliefs and Rules interacts to form more Beliefs and Rules.

Furthermore, our Beliefs and Rules interpret the Reality to form Experience, which in turn alters existing or create new Beliefs and Rules. They also affect our States, which influence our selection of Beliefs and Rules to apply.

This complex system of Filters distorts, deletes and generalizes our Matrix of Thoughts & Feelings to a even greater extent. It is a Matrix!

The whole idea of NLP is to Catch our Matrix. Identity them, verify them and change them consciously in order to make ourselves Living Consciously!

To catch our Matrix, we need to stand above and beyond them, or we are living unconsciously inside our own Matrix!

That is the ultimate meaning of "Meta"!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Options and Choices

Hi,

One of the most important NLP Presuppositions is: the more choices you have, the more successful you can be.

But what is Choice?

Choices are not something that offered by the Outer World. They are just Options. When you understand what are really happening outside and how things happen, you can create your own Choices.

Options are Outside and Choices are Inside your mind! Understanding is the process of making your Inner World of your Thoughts and Feelings "nearer" to the Outer World of Reality.

In the Movie, the Matrix, Oracle once said: You can't see beyond your choices that you don't understand.

The more Options you have, you become confused. The more Choices you have, you become flexible!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

NLP: The Most Important Concept and Skill of NLP

Hi,

According to myself, the most important concept and skill must be Meta-Model. This is the very first model of NLP and it is also the very core of NLP!

If there were no Meta-Model, NLP did not exist at all!

Meta-Model is used to uncover the Deeper Structure of thinking beneath the Surface Structure of Communication. This helps to identify any misunderstanding in thinking and communication.

The Surface Structure is the content of our thinking and communication after being filtered by our values, beliefs and rules. Not much is left behind. However, these simplified information of the Surface Structure making thinking and communication simper, easier and possible. We just can't think and talk in every single details. This will overload our and others' minds!

The value of Meta-Model is NOT its application in clarifying misunderstandings. Unless you are a detective or a therapist, we seldom use Meta-Model with ourselves and others. It breaks rapport instantly and seriously. Surface Structure is our "normal" communication while Deep Structure is totally abnormal!

Then why is Meta-Model so important?

In order to use Meta-Model effectively, one must be at his/her Meta-Position (i.e. perceiving and thinking above and beyond). When we are in our Meta-Position, we can see more and think clearly. We are outside the "Matrix" of our thinking and environmental influences!

Practicing Meta-Model trains us being able to "go meta" under even the most stressful and confused situation, when a clear mind is most desirable and essential. "Going Meta" is just an impossible skill without practice. The best practice is to practice Meta-Model.

The very basic qualification of a NLP Trainer is not his/her certificate(s). It is too easy to get one nowadays. The basic requirement are the ability to "Think on his/her Feet" and to remain calm and humorous under any situation in class. (Why humorous? One can only be humorous when one can see something different from "normal". You cannot "prepare" and "practice" your "humor" beforehand. Genuine humor is simultaneous and instant.)

Only when one is in the Meta-Position, one has all the above abilities.

The major outcome of learning NLP is NOT to be more persuasive or being excellent. These are the secondary gains only. We learn NLP to make our Inside World nearer to the Outside World, i.e. perceiving, thinking, acting more realistically.

Only when one is in the Meta-Position, one can perceive, think and act more realistically.

Practice your Meta-Model!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Concepts 101 Part 9: Discovery & Influence

Hi,

Nearly all my teachings about NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching and Facilitation are revolving around a major concept of mine, Discovery & Influence.

They are the 2 far ends of the spectrum of communication. You cannot discover and influence at the same time as they are at the 2 extremes.

Coaching is at the far end of Discovery. We help others to discover without giving any directions and advice. It is a form of pure discovery. It is easy for the coach, but harder for the coachee.

Persuasion is on the other hand, at the far end of Influence. It is hard for the persuaders while easy for the one being persuaded.

From the NLP point of view, Discovery is helping people to recover the Deletions, Distortions and Generalizations in their thinking. Influence is purposefully deleting, distorting and generalizing the thinking of people so as they will agree with you.

Suggestions-based Hypnosis is a kind of Persuasion. We delete, distort and/or generalize clients' thinking. Facilitation is in between Discovery and Influence. We lead our clients to think using suitable structures so as to gain results faster and easier. Transformation Hypnotherapy (SOBER Therapy) is Facilitation, which is done under trance with the unconscious thinking.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel


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NLP: Some Key Ideas on Advanced Language Patterns

Hi,

I just finished this year's Advanced Language Patterns (ALP) Module of the NLP Practitioner Training last week. I like to share some of my ideas about ALP.

1. ALP are the most important models of NLP. NLP is the study of the interaction between thinking (Neuro) and Use of Language (Linguistics). We never know what others or even what we think. Thinking is inside our mind. They are the Implicit Part of NLP. The Explicit Part is the Language we use. So Language becomes the "Monitor" of our "Human CPU" (our thinking)!

2. The Content of our language reflects the Content of our thinking. They are very important but they are also too complicated to be understood by normal persons, like you and me. The Patterns of our language reflects the Patterns of our thinking. They are also complicated but much simpler than the content. NLP is the study of the Patterns (context) of our thinking through the Patterns of our Language!

3. Apart from the many other language patterns taught in the module, Meta Model, Milton Model, Presuppositions, and Sleight of Mouth (Reframing using language) are the most important four.

4. Meta Model helps to get more detail information (deep structure) of people's thinking. This eliminates misunderstandings of our perceptions of the environment and behaviors due to our filters of Values, Beliefs and Rules (i.e. Distortion, Deletion and Generalization)

5. Milton Model distorts, deletes and generalizes our thinking so that we change our behaviors without much efforts (i.e. capabilities). This can be good or bad, depending on the content. But Milton Model reflects how we think.

6. Presuppositions also works on our perceptions of environment and behaviors so that we can change easier without much efforts. NLP is also the study of our internal presuppositions, i.e. Filters. It is the Filters that causes the discrepancies of our internal world (Our Perceptions) and the external world (i.e. Reality). The greater the discrepancies, the less realistic we are and the more problems we face.

7. Reframing is the temporary adoptation of another set of Filters instead of the dorminated set so that we can see something differently (gaining more information through a different perception). This is an external way to affect the internal filters. It is difficult or even impossible to work directly with our filters as they are internal and hard to identify. With a new set of filters, we can see more about our Reality and thus decreasing the discrepancies.

8. Meta Model is the easiest of all as it is quite mechanical. You observe the Meta Model Violations and then apply the respective Meta Model to make others or yourself to go meta to see more.

9. Milton Model is also easy. It is just filling in the blank and apply. The only difficult part is deciding what to fill in. The secret is "Pacing & Leading". There are always at least 2 parts of a Milton Model. The first part is Pacing and the second part is Leading. Only the stupid or someone who doesn't really understand NLP will tell you to just fill in anything and you can then persuade others.

10. Presuppositions is again easy. It is also filling in the blank and apply. The secret is there must be lots of "Truth" and a bit of "Falseness". If the "Fasleness" is too false, make it less false before filling in.

11. People find the above 3 difficult because they are unable to see the Meta Model Violations or what to be filling in for the Milton Model or the Presuppositions. Why? Because they are at the same level of the speaker! You must go meta first before you can see them! Einstein once said that we can't solve the problems at the same level of the source of the problems. He is very right.

12. Reframing is the hardest of the fours because Reframing is working on the Filters (Beliefs, Values, Rules), which are already in the upper level which governs people's lower level of capabilities, behaviours and environment. If we need to go meta to see our lower level, we need to go meta-meta to see our upper levels. I had talked about Meta-Meta in Master NLP Practitioner Program. It is difficult to grasp. I will talk about it in greater details in my later messages.

Here is an easier way to understand. If you want to refarme others, you must see the other frame(s) first before you can lead someone to see through that new frame(s). It is NOT a simple filling in the blank. You see something before you can tell someone how to see it! If you are stuck or not being flexible, you can never see the possibilities of any new frame.

13. The best way to judge someone's understanding of NLP is to ask him/her to demonstrate the ALP. One can memorize all the patterns, but using them is another story!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Personal Development: NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Systemic Thinking and Influencing

Hi,

I teach quite a lot of stuff, mainly including NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Systemic Thinking and Influencing. They seem to be quite different but I am teaching the same thing, Self Awareness!

1. NLP is the gaining of awareness through realizing and minimizing the discrepancy of our External World (Reality) and Internal World (Perceptions). This results in a clearer and realistic thinking.

2. Hypnosis is about accumulating awareness by recognizing and re-understanding our beliefs that leaded to our problems. This results in solving of our problems.

3. Coaching is to enhance our awareness by exposing our assumptions and blind spots. This results in development.

4. Facilitation is the gaining of awareness using different frameworks and directions of thinking. This leads to faster and easier results.

5. Systemic Thinking is increasing our awareness through exploring beyond our usual system of thinking and to identify the connections between sub-systems. This results in seeing more, in form of both bigger pictures and details.

6. Influencing is attaining awareness by understanding human patterns of thinking. You can then persuade others according to their thinking patterns.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, October 08, 2007

NLP: The Missing Filter

Hi,

One core part of NLP is the study of Filters in distorting, deleting and generalizing our thinking. The NLP Filters include Value (i.e. what's important?), Belief (i.e. what's real?) and Rule (i.e. what's right?). These filters can make our thinking and thus our behaviours distant from reality!

So, verifying our filters is one of the major purposes of learning NLP. But one even more influential filter is missing, our Emotions.

When we are in a positive emotional state (e.g. happy, excited, love, etc.), we tend to assign positive values to people, things and happenings. We are in a more readily accepting mood, even something we consider not good to us. However, when we are in a negative emotional states (e.g. sad, angry, fear, etc.), we do the opposites.

This is so called the "Self Deception" researched by Prof. Paul Thagard of the University of Waterloo. We unconsciously distort, delete, and/or generalize the reality when under emotions. This is why the State of Knowing Nothing (in New Coded NLP) is so important in gaining maximum insights. When we know nothing, we are in a void emotional state!

This is also the purpose of Emotional Release when we are doing the Transformational Hypnotherapy Skills (i.e IR, IC, etc.). Only after the emotions are released, the effect of emotions on our thinking is reduced so that we can gain positive messages after the process.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

NLP: Negative Resources

Hi,

Another interesting discussion in NLP Class today.

If positive resources like confidence, happiness, calmness can create the respective positive states, then is the Negative States being created by Negative Resources?

According to NLP, the answer is no.

Negative States are created by lacking of Resources. A Sad State is not created by Sadness Resource, but by lacking the Happiness Resource.

However, no one know whether this is right or wrong. We can't physically locate any resources, both positive or negative. This is just a presupposition.

If something is a presupposition, whether we should believe in it or not depends on its usefulness.

If a negative state is created by a negative resource, we then need to remove the resource. But how?

If a negative state is created by lacking a positive resource, we can go and find that positive resource. Getting something is easier than Getting Rid of something.

NLP has its own ways to get those positive resources, like anchoring. We can also get it using many Non-NLP means, for example, when you want to be happier, do something happy or recalling some happy memories.

Getting is easier than Getting Rid of. Do not agree? Think about your fat and body weight! (or there will also be another big business of gaining weight!)

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Too Confident?!

Hi,

In today NLP Practitioner Training, we are discussing whether someone can be too confident.

In NLP, we believe that if we have the Resource of Confidence, we are in a Confident State. But can we have too much of the Resource of Confidence and making us becoming too confident?

Many people believe so. When we are over-confident, we can then be in trouble. The same reasoning applies to many of the positive states, like too happy or too curious.

So we do our best to stop from being too confident, too happy and too curious! The result is either we just can't stop it or we become not confident, not happy and not curious at all.


Can we have too much the Resource of Confidence?

No!!!

The problem of Over-Confidence is NOT because of we are having too much Confidence, but because of the lacking some other useful Resources, like Observation and Self-Control.

We can be very confident, without overdoing anything, if we can also observe the situation and be self-controlled.

This is an example of More is Less. More of some other useful resources, then less the negative outcomes!

Be flexible, it is not a must that More is More or Less is Less.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Useless NLP!

Hi,

Many years ago when NLP is still new to Hong Kong, nobody claims NLP has magical power.

However in today, so many people are telling others about NLP's magical power in changing people. I have even heard someone saying just with a touch, he can make you fully filled with power by using NLP! (This makes me thinking of He-Man!) This is a problem.

Overstating the effectiveness might draw you more clients but it will hurt the goodwill of NLP. (Though NLP does not have much of it!)


Are NLP Skills Useful?

From my experience, many the so-called very effective NLP Skills can be quite useless with some people. Every skill has its limitation. It can be effective on someone does not guarantee its effectiveness on others. People are different. The classic Fast Phobia Cure and Swish Pattern of NLP can be useless with someone who are not very visual!

NLP is just one of the many choices you can use to help yourself or others. If it doesn't work, use something else!


Is the Effect of NLP Skills Long Term?

The effect might not be long term. Some NLP Skills are having long term effect while others having short term. It is not the former are better the latter. It is just because of their designs.

Skills affecting Filters (i.e. Belief, Value, Rule, Attitude) can be long term, and skills directing towards your Behaviours and Thoughts level can be just short term. But short term skills can be useful when you want an instant change of state.

For example, you are in a very bad mood, you dissociate and you get a short term relief. But if your Filters or your environment do not change, you can then easily swing back to the bad mood again. Another example: You are very angry and you are facing your naughty son. A simple Personal Editing Skill can make you into a temporary calmer state. Then you can talk with your son. These are just short term changes but they serves some purposes.


Effective is not Useful!

Even the NLP Skill is effective, it doesn't mean it is useful. For example, by using Logical Levels, you might be able to change some of your beliefs effectively. But the resulting beliefs can be even worse than the original ones.

Whether the change is smart or stupid depends on the quality of your information, knowledge and wisdom. A wise person, when using NLP can make wise changes and vice versa.

So, NLP is NOT an alternative to other forms of skills and knowledge. It is just a might-be-effective tool when use wisely. NLP can't make a person becoming master or guru. Wisdom can!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, April 30, 2007

在生活中實踐 重新審視人生

NLP身心語言程序學在生活中實踐 
重新審視人生

轉載: 明報 Jump
2007年1月25日

如果要選一門適合大部分在職人士進修的課程,筆者會選NLP身心語言程序學。

身心語言程序學是一門研究身、心、語言互動關係的實用心理學,藉著觀察身體動作及語言來瞭解人的思想行為;它同時是一種促進行為轉變的科學,運用身體動作、語言及思想方法來影響改變自己及別人。不論從事商業、銷售、教育培訓、輔導、社會工作、醫療,或任何希望改進自己,加強個人競爭能力的人士均適合修讀。

聖雅各福群會延續教育中心將於今年4月開辦第九屆「身心語言程序學NLP執行師證書課程」,由陶兆輝博士任教。此課程的特點是讓學員有充足時間學習掌握NLP技巧,使能真正可應用於工作和生活上。修讀時間為期一年,與坊間絕大多數集中在數日內完成的課程完全不同。若就證書的認受性來看,兩者其實分別不大,為何別人五日、七日便可完成的課程,該會卻要花一年時間去教授呢?

給予學生領略與反思

聖雅各福群會延續教育中心經理劉遠章解釋,因為NLP是一套需要時間去消化、吸收和實習的技巧,著重應用方面,而非理論層面。

「雖然七日內確實可以將內裏所有理論技巧都灌輸給學生,但時間太緊迫,內容過於壓縮,學生囫圇吞棗,很難全完吸收,更別說應用在實際作和生活中了。我們將課程拉長,將內容講得更仔細,目的是要讓學生有足夠時間領略和反思,然後嘗試在生活中實踐,再將經驗帶回來在課堂與同學和導師交流,通過學習、吸收、實踐、分享、反思等過程,更有效和全面地學好這套技巧。」

修畢課程獲認可證書

該會的NLP課程另一特點,是學員可在「個人成長」和「商業應用」兩個大類中任選其一。整個課程共有八個單元,其中有五個單元是上述兩大類別都需要修讀的,包括:「基礎理論及技巧」、「行為精進」、「心態突破」、「成功策略」和「理念整合」。至於另外三個單元,「個人成長」類還包括「基礎催眠治療學」、「身心治療 」和「高級語言模式-強勢溝通」;而「商業應用」則有「巔峰團隊管理」、「第二層次說服溝通學」和「身心語言教練學」。

修畢全科並完成作業和通過考核,可獲由 The Institute of Mental Technology 發出 的「身心語言程序學NLP執行師證書」,另外選修「個人成長」系列的可再獲頒「身心健康維護證書」,而選修「商業應用」的則可獲「身心語言商業管理證書」。

本著助為人為先精神

純粹從商業角度而言,一個一星期也可完成的課程,卻用上一年時間去教,好像不符合經營原則;但作為非牟利團體,聖雅各福群會更著重是否能真正幫到有需要的人。劉遠章解釋:「我們是社會服務機構,做任事出發點都是助人為先,我們希望教出來的學生不單自己得益,更可以將所學充分發揮出來,惠及他人。其實,坊間NLP課程已有不少,我們若不是認為有此必要,覺得以這種方更能將NLP這套技巧完完全全地教給學生,便沒需要多此一舉。」

「對學生而言,課程延長也是有百利而無一害,除非他急於取得證書。就過去幾屆畢業生來看,他們的改變真的很大。在接觸NLP之後,他們都會重新審視人生,審視自己的生活,他們有的會轉工,有些去讀書,做自己真正喜歡的事,而且卓然有成。其中一位讀完後毅然辭去工作全職讀書,現在已做了心理治療師,有些自己創業,大都有明顯進步。」

免費課程令更多人受益

正因為本著助人為先的精神,聖雅各福群會更開辦了一個完全免費的「身心語言程序學精要技術課程」。

劉遠章說:「這個免費課程已經是第四屆,每次反應都相當熱烈。我們開辦免費課程的原因,是希望有更多人接觸到NLP、認識NLP,和使用這些技巧去幫人,一方面使NLP普及起來,另一方面令更多人受益。」

身心語言程序學精要技術課程

這個免費課程會以講座形式進行,課程合共五堂,每堂各有不同主題,包括:「學會學習」、「取勝之道」、「助人提升」、「自我催眠」和「身心健康」。

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

NLP: Before Change, CHECK!

Hi,

Many people use NLP for creating changes. But "Change creates Changes". There is no guarantee that it will bring forth improvement. So, check before your change!

NLP has given us at least 3 Checking Methodologies. Use them:

1. Intention Check: What is the intention or objective of the original behaviour, action, plan, belief....? You need to know whether it can still be entertained after the changes. If not, you might need some extra works to fulfill the original intentions/objectives. Every behaviour has at least one positive intention to yourself.

Whatever existing, no matter how bad it is, has a reason to exist. If we ignore it, you might cause a even bigger problem.

2. Ecology Check: What is the effects of the changes on yourself, on someone important and on others? Can you accept the effects. If not, you better revise your changes or even consider something else.

If you ignore the Ecology Check, you might at the end get your positive result plus all the negative side effects! Or you might simply procrastinate as you do not want to see the effects realizing.

3. Congruency Check: Do you feel it is OK to change in that way? If not, change your plan. Your unconscious mind (non-conscious thinking) can sometimes know more than your conscious thinking. Whenever you feel something being not OK, analyse it again!

Even when you can get through all 3 checks, you can still be wrong. Life is full of risks. It is up to you to decide whether to take it or not.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Revised: June 19 2009

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Friday, April 20, 2007

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 10 - What is Thinking

Hi,

This is Section 3 of the article series, NLP is about Thinking. This section only composes of 1 article. If NLP is about Thinking, then what is Thinking?

Thinking is the mental activities which allows beings to model the world, and so to deal with the world effectively according to their own goals, plans, ends and desires. Thinking is manipulating information, as when we form concepts, engage in problem solving, reason and make decisions. A thought may be an idea, an image, a sound or even an emotional feeling that arises from the brain. (The about description is from Wikipedia)

NLP is about Modeling the World while Thinking is also about the same thing. NLP is about how we mentally Handle Information while Thinking is also about the same thing.

One of the objective of learning NLP is to enhance our quality of thinking. There are lots of qualities of thinking and here are some for us to consider:

1. Accuracy (準確): Accuracy is the degree of conformity of a measured or calculated quantity to its actual value. That is, if you think that something is a dog, and it is actually a dog, then the thinking is of high accuracy.

2. Precision (精確): Precision is repeatability, the degree to which further measurements or calculations will show the same or similar results. For example, a clock always hit 12 o'clock the same time everyday, then the clock is precise but it can be inaccurate because when it hit 12, it is actually 11. If we always think something is the same thing, then we have a precise thinking. (But it can be inaccurate!)

3. Logical (邏輯): If you have reasons which can show your conclusion is true and the reasons are true themselves, then you have a logical thinking.

4. Effectiveness (效益): Effectiveness is the capability to produce an Effect you want. An ordinary way of describing Effectiveness can be thinking the right thing and doing the right thing.

5. Efficiency (效率): Efficiency is the extent to which resources are used for the intended purpose. If you use more than needed, you are not efficient. If you think or consider more than needed to achieve the purpose, your thinking is of low Efficiency.

6. Speed (速度): Speed is the amount of time used for thinking.

7. Efficacy (功效): Efficacy is the ability to produce a desired amount of a desired effect. That is, you don't over or under do or think something.

8. Realness (真實): Realness is whether something you think is currently or had been existing. Some real must be actual things which have objective existence. There is no degree of realness. It is either real or not real!

Our Filters affect all of the above qualities! Enhancing thinking quality is enhancing quality of our Filters! The number and realness of our filters governs these 8 qualities. We need less and real filters to be an accurate, precise, logical, effective, efficient, fast, efficacious and real thinker!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

My Point of View: 基本思維 Basic Thinking

Hi,

正如我曾在很多場合說過,思維就好像電腦運作一般,但不是一台,而是多台電腦同時並行,這個複雜的網絡(Network)讓我們能同時有多個想法(但我們未必全然察覺),也令我們能解決複雜難題及通過組合多個想法建立新的意念,但如果我們不懂得如何使用這個複雜的網絡,她亦能為我們製造難題,想得複雜卻想不出解決!

要改進我們的思維網絡,太複雜了,恕我水平未到,無法提供什麼精闢意見,不如不談;但要讓我們的思維網絡能夠運作,我們就必須先研究一下也是我經常談及的操作系統(Operating System)。

操作系統的主要功能,在於處理輸入輸出,無論你的思維電腦及思維網絡如何優秀或差勁,精確、準確、真實的輸入輸出都能提升你的思維質量,模糊、錯誤、虛假的輸入輸出都令你的思維質量沉淪!

操作系統輸入輸出就是我們的基本思維,連基本也未能做好,又說什麼思維技術呢?

很多人問我,究竟NLP研究的是什麼呢,最簡單的說法,就是我們的基本思維

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, April 16, 2007

My Point of View: 手藝與腦藝

Hi,

沒有什麼「手藝」比掌握「腦藝」更重要,當我們真的懂得如何思維, 我們自然能為自己設計各式各樣的「手藝」,達成各種我們希望的成果!

現今的思維訓練均集中於創意思維邏輯思維上,兩者皆是絕佳的思維技術,但你有沒有發現就算某人已接受了上述訓練,無論那些訓練是怎麼有效, 也不見得能令所有參與者產生更多創意或令其思維更合理,其中肯定有遺缺之處;遺缺之處可能就在我們的基本思維, 基本思維未有完善,更高層次的創新及邏輯思維又怎能生效!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

NLP: Article Written Years Ago - The Winner's Mind-Set

Hi,

This is my 8th re-published article on NLP that I have written years ago.

The Winner's Mind-Set

What distinguishes a winner from a loser?

They have a totally different mind-sets.

Winners know that their winning can serve the world better, losers just don't care. Winners think that they are winners, losers simply know nothing about winning.

Winners think that they can, while losers doubt.

Winners learn and practice winning skills, losers rather take a break.

Winners act like a winner, loser like a loser.

Winners go around with winners, while losers are afraid of facing people better than themselves.

If you want to be a winner, adopt the winner's mind-set.

Visualize a picture of yourself, together with other successful people, happily and with great confidence. Seeing yourself standing straight, with a smiling face, and behave just like all those successful people around you. Inside the picture, you learn and practice new skills everyday and you CAN do it right and smart.

Seeing also yourself wearing a clothes with a "Winning" symbol on it. (whatever symbol you think that stands for winning). You also find that yourself are being surrounded by a beautiful
colored light of success. The light makes you feel comfortable, confident and great. The light is gradually increasing in intensity and spreads around to make the surrounding people and your
environment even better.

Imagining yourself walking into the picture. Feel the feelings. Then imagine a color Xerox machine making hundreds, thousands copies of the picture. The more copies it makes, the better the feeling it becomes. Then you hold the pile of copies in your hands. In count of three, you throw out all the copies into air, making thousands of pictures surrounding you, at back, sides, above and below. They also spread in front of you to the far future.

Do this programming everyday for 21 days and it will become part of you.

You are then part of the winners' team.

Keith's 2007 Remark: This skill makes use of Submodalities, Visual Anchoring and Association


Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

NLP: Article Written Years Ago - The Chair of Success

Hi,

This is my 7th re-published article on NLP that I have wriiten years ago.

The Chair of Success

What make you successful?

Some people can tell but most can't. If you even don't know what make you successful, will it be possible to be really successful?

Your subconscious mind always knows what can help you successful. The following skill can help you to discover what you already know. This skill will reflect what's inside your subconscious.

Sit down and imagine yourself sitting on a chair. Each leg of the chair is an element making you successful. How many legs are needed for you sitting stable enough for success? One, two, three, four or more. How many exactly?

Now focus on the first leg of your chair. What is it? It can be anything. Just believe in your intuition. What comes to your mind now? Then, go to the second leg and ask again. Then the third, fourth and so on.

After you complete all the legs, imagine yourself sitting on your seat of success. How do you feel? Do you need adding or deleting any legs? Do you want to change any of the legs? Do you really want any of the leg, or do you really want this chair?

Why?

When you are completely satisfy with your chair, sit there for a minute. These are the elements for your success. What can you do with these elements? What can be done to enhance these
further? Then, imagine the sense of success going all the way from the chair to your body. Fill up your body with this sense of success. Enjoy it.

Next time when you feel stuck, imagine sitting on your chair ofsuccess and choices will come through to you.


Keith's 2007 Remark:

1. This is a typical application of the NLP Skills of Collecting Resources and Anchoring.

2. You can use this skill for anything else. It can also be a chair of job promotion, a chair of a good father, a chair of impressive public speaking, etc.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 9 - Why Modeling?

Hi,

This is Section 2 of our article series, NLP is about Thinking.

Someone asked me recently why we model. So, I decided to write this article (just one article) as Section 2 of the series - Why Modeling?

The co-originators of NLP, Richard Bandler & John Grinder started to model the greatest therapists to identify their models of effective and efficient therapy during 70's. This was the birth of NLP. Years after years, Bandler, Grinder and many other NLP co-developers, trainers and practitioners continued to model. The co-originators even declared that NLP is Modeling rather than the thousands of NLP models as the results of the modeling process. Why?

Because this unique NLP Modeling Process can help people finding out the "how" of the great techniques of great performers of any kind! Then we and all others people can follow the steps of these great people to excellence. (If you want to know more about the uniqueness of the NLP Modeling Process, have a look at my other article, 4 Key Elements of NLP Modeling)

But why should we learn the Modeling Process? Why can't we just learn from the existing models?

There can be hundreds of good reasons to model, here are 8 to consider:

1. Modeling Someone's Excellence. When you come across someone performing great in something you want to learn, you can model them by yourself! You learn faster!

2. Modeling Organizations and Cultures. You can also understand better how other (or yours) organizations and cultures functioning. We can benchmark them to get their strategies and we can also get along with them easier.

3. Modeling Others' Failures. You don't need to fail first to become successful in something. We can always model others' failures. We are not good at learning from failures so we fail again and again. Why? Because we do not have a systematic and effective method to learn. Modeling can be one of the answers. Modeling failures can also help us to help others to improve themselves.

4. Modeling Problems. One thing is quite sure for yesterday, today and in the future - Problems always exist. Many even believe that we are employed to solve the problems for our employers. We, ourselves have problems, at home, in the workplace, etc. If we can know how a problem works, problem solving is much easier.

5. Modeling Opportunities. Interesting? Yes, we can model opportunities! It is frustrating not to get hold of opportunities and let them pass by us. One of the reasons is that we do not know how they look so we can't recognize them. Even we can manage not to miss them, we might not be able to utilize them because we do not know how they work. Modeling helps us to notice them and use them.

6. Modeling Others' Thinking. Then we can communicate and persuade them according to their way of thinking! The problem why we can't persuade is that we are doing that according to our own thinking, not theirs. When we are proficient at modeling, we can Simultaneously Model others and get simultaneous feedback at the same time. Speed is everything, when persuading!

7. Modeling from History, Books and any other form of Information. Even we can't meet someone in person (we don't know them or they had already passed-away), we can still model them. It opens up a vast pool (or sea!) of knowledge to us! Learning from information is always difficult since we tend to analyze or memorize, rather than seeing how something happened.

8. Modeling Yourself. The last but not the least, modeling oneself is most important! We are aware of the importance of Self-Awareness, but we might not be aware of how to get it! We can model ourselves! We model our own successes, failures, problems, thinking and our history! We can then duplicate our achievements. We can stop repeating our problems and failures. We can adjust our own insane thinking. We understanding more about the most important person in the world - Yourself!

Learn Modeling and teach them to all others around you. Today, we are facing Information-Overflow, but we are always Knowledge-Deficient. Knowledge is the Understood and Usable Information. What can make it understood and what can make it usable? Modeling!

When more people are doing Modeling, we are adding knowledge to our world. This is my wish and this is my goal!

See you all again in Section 3 of the articles series.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Article Written Years Ago - Dissociation for Awareness

Hi,

This is my 6th re-published article on NLP that I have wriiten years ago.

Dissociation for Awareness

This is a story about a prisoner.

The prisoner was so unhappy after sending to the prison that he refused to go out of his cell. Later he was too depressed and becoming very sick. He was forced out of his cell to the clinic.

On the way, he discovered the prison was surrounded by mountains. The sky is so blue and the mountain is so green. He wondered why he never aware of such beauties.

His life changed dramatically. He was still a prisoner, but he took a totally different attitude. He studied hard for not just one, but three college degrees, the bachelor, master and doctor within
his 10 years of imprisonment. He is now a very successful therapist helping lots of people day after day.

Let me explain a bit further. The cell is your mind. If you lock yourself inside your own cell, you can see nothing but the walls of your own prison. You can't see above, below and around yourself. You can aware of nothing, opportunities and threats.

Until you open the door (your mind?) and walk out of your cell, you then can have a complete view.

In NLP, we use dissociation to gain that awareness. When you are associated, you see from your own eyes, hear from your own ears. You can easily feel stuck. You lock yourself inside your own prison. By dissociation, you detach yourself from your body and see things in a much larger view.

When you feel yourself mentally stuck, do something different physically. We believe our mind and body are inter-linked. Shake your head and look around. Notice where you are. Notice every details in the room, on the desk, outside the windows, etc. You gradually drift yourself to the dissociated state where awareness appears.

When you are stuck with yourself or others, stand back and observe yourself and others. By doing this, you physically and mentally detach yourself.

Of course, if you find something interest or exciting, do associate with it and enjoy. It is really sad to detach from happiness while associate with frustration and disappointment.

(Keith 2007's Remark: Excel might be coming from "Ex" & "Cell", "Ex" = "out of")


以抽離來覺察

這是關於一個囚犯的故事。

囚犯在送去監獄以後,他感覺很不快樂,他拒絕離開自己的牢房,稍後,他變得消沉,並因此而得病,他被迫送到他牢房外面的診所。

在途中,他發現監獄是被山所包圍,天空是很藍的,山是很綠的,他驚訝為什麼他從不意識到這樣的美麗。

他的生命戲劇性地改變了,他當然還是一個囚犯,但是他以另一種完全不同的態度去生活。他拼命地學習,在他的十年牢獄生涯裡,他取得不只一個,而是三個大學學位,學士、碩士和博士學位,他現在是很成功的臨床心理學家,日復一日地幫助很多很多人。

讓我進一步說明一下,牢房就是你自己的思維,如果你把自己鎖在你的自己的思想牢房裡面,你只會看見你自己的監獄中的墻壁,你不能看到上面、下面及你的週遭,你不能察覺到什麼-機會和威脅。

直到你打開門(你的頭腦?),離開你的牢房,你才可以看到一幅完整的景象。在 NLP 中,我們使用抽離(Dissociation)來獲取這種覺察,當你在聯繫(Association)時,你從你自己的眼睛看事物,你從你的耳朵聽東西,你很容易就被膠著,動彈不得,你把自己鎖在自己的思想監獄裡面。通過抽離,你好像從自己的身體分離出去,以一個更大的角度看待事物。

當你心裡感覺到自己卡住時,你可以做一些不同的事情,如改變姿勢,我們相信我們的思維與我們的身體是相互連結的。搖搖你的頭,四處張望,刻意察覺自己身在何方,察覺週圍環境的每一細節,如察覺窗外的情況,察覺在桌子上的東西等等,讓自己逐漸抽離出來。

當你發覺自己膠著時,想像自己退後一步,觀察自己和他人,透過這樣做,你身心均從自己中抽離出來。當然,如果你發現一些有趣的事情,你應聯繫並好好享受其中樂趣,抽離快樂但卻聯繫困惑和失望是十分令人悲傷的。


Keith To
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

NLP: Article Written Years Ago - How to Achieve Your Goals?

Hi,

This is the 5th re-published article on NLP that I have written years ago.

How to Achieve Your Goals?

Millions of people had talked about setting and achieving goals. But still millions of people can't succeed.

Why?

One of the reasons is we always wrongly educate our sub-conscious mind.

I had once seen a lady who wish to loss weight by pasting a picture of a really fat woman on the door of her fridge. According to her, the picture is used to remind her not to over-eat or else she will become as fat as the one in the picture.

What is the result?

She gained weight 20 pound after 2 months.

Again, why?

That picture really does the work well. It serves as a reminder to her sub-conscious mind to make her becoming just like the woman in the picture.

Our sub-conscious mind is just like a gigantic baby. He is powerful and straightforward. He will perform anything if you keep on telling him to do so.

So set up a positive goal. If you want to achieve something, put a picture of what you want in front of you. Then you are educating your sub-conscious towards your goals.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

NLP: Article Written Years Ago - Eyes of the Tiger

Hi,

This is the 4th re-published article on NLP that I have written years ago.

Eyes of the Tiger

Remember the movie Rocky V. The original sound track is called the Eyes of The Tiger. I was really impressed by the movie that I had watched it for 5 times.

When Rocky could not wear the eyes of the tiger facing his challenger, he lost. He was frightened by the much stronger enemy. Finally, when the eyes of the tiger was in him, all the confidence, power and energy were triggered off and he won the game.

In NLP, we are talking about how to shift ourselves from one state to another state. For example, from a state of shyness to a state of confidence, from frighten to brave, from confusion to clarity, etc. NLP actually is the science of State Management.

But how can we achieve the effective shifting? For NLP Practitioners, we will use all those tools like Resources, Anchoring, Swish pattern, etc. However, I seldom use all these because I have another much easier and effective way, which I call the Eyes of the Tiger. I invented this well before I learned NLP. This was more than 20 years ago when I watched my fifth time the Rocky V.

When you need confidence, power and energy, wear the Eyes of the Tiger, just as Rocky did. Imagine yourself being a tiger, a strong tiger. You see the environment through these eyes of the tiger. How does a tiger's eye look? Do as what the tiger's eye looks. Within seconds, you are filled up with all those confidence, power and energy you need.

As we Chinese says, eyes are the windows of our souls. It affects the inside of us, but it even affects others, too. Many people judge another by looking at their eyes. You can pretend to be confident. You can look confident, but your eyes can betray you. This is the weakest part of our body, physically and mentally. But when you can wear the "set" of eyes you need, you gain the resources you want from inside out.

If you want to be quick in response, wear the eyes of a leopard.

If you want to be observant, wear the eyes of an eagle.

If you want to be persistent, wear the eyes of a camel

Just have your own sets of eyes ready, and you can access any of the Human Resources at any time.

(Keith's Remark in 2007: This is an application of the Content-Less High Performance State. We put ourselves in a Generalized 2nd Position of something having the resources we want.)

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, March 12, 2007

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 8 - Language

Hi,

This is Part 8 of our series of NLP is about Thinking and this is also the last part of our Section 1 - The Map is not the Territory of our article series.

The Map is not the Territory. Our Internal Reality is not exactly the External Reality. Einstein had once said that we could never know the true reality. he is absolutely right as we always delete, distort and/or generalize our outside world.

In our last 4 parts, we have already discussed the first 4 Factors which make "The Map is not the Territory". Today, we will proceed to the last factor, Language.

How does language creates the discrepancies between our map and the territory?

1. Language Has Limitations. Language is used to represent and communicate what we perceive & think. However, the information of what we perceive and think is in form of Sensory Data, i.e what we see, hear, feel, smell and taste. Language itself has limitations. Language might not be accurately used to represent and communicate them fully and exactly. This creates the discrepancies.

2. People Chooses Different Words. When we communicate, different people use different words to represent the same experience due to the difference of their filters. Even we hear the same words from someone, different people will have a different map about what he is talking about and it is quite sure that all these maps are not the same as the map of the speaker.

3. Words Used Imply Meanings to the Experience. As mentioned above, different people use different words to represent the same experience. Once the words are chosen, the experience is then influenced and limited by those words. He is not just him any more, he become a "bad guy" if we choose such words to describe him.

To reduce such discrepancies, we can

1. Become Multi-Lingual. Each language has her own limitations. The more languages that we can use to represent and communicate our experience, the less discrepancy will be created.

2. Be Good at Language. My primary teacher had once told me that if someone was good at language, he/she could be good at anything if he/she chose to learn it. She was right. If we can have more vocabularies to describe our perceptions and thinking, we can choose the more appropraite words.

3. Extend the Duration of Observation before we start to choose words to describe it. We form the First Access (FA) or the initial perception when we perceive something. The process is so fast that we tend to miss important information. Intentionally extending the duration allows us picking up as much information as possible. There is a paradox here. If we get more information, it becomes even more difficult to choose the right words to represent it.

4. Use Multiple Descriptions for the same experience. One single word or phrase might not be able to represent the experience close enough. We can use several different descriptions in our thinking and communication. This also promotes the use of different frames and perceptual positions, both for yourself and for the people you are communicating with.

5. Apply Meta-Model if Appropriate. In NLP, the Deep Structure is all the sensory information of the experience while the Surface Structure is the language we used to represent all those information in the Deep Structure. To communicate efficiently, the Surface Structure is a much deleted, distorted and generalized version of the Deep Structure. It is efficient but might not be effective. It can cause misunderstandings. Meta-Model is a special kind of language pattern use to reveal the Deep Structure during communication. You can find it in most of those good NLP books or we will discuss them in our NLP Practitioner Program.

Our maps are just the deleted, distorted, and generalized Perceptions and Linguistic Representations of the outside world. They are never the outside world.

This concludes our Section 1 of the article series. Starting next posting, we will continue to Section 2 - the NLP Modeling Process.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Sunday, March 11, 2007

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 7 - Filters

Hi,

This is Part 7 of our series of NLP is about Thinking.

I am speeding up myself in writing so as to at least finish the first major section of this articles series before the start of the NLP Practitioner Program this year.

We are continuing to discuss the 5 Factors that make "Our Maps are not the Territory". Filters is the 3rd factor. Filter is the single most core concepts of NLP. You can say that all other 4 factors are Filters-related.

The Physical Barriers, Missing Perspectives, Time and Language Factors create the discrepancies between our Map (Internal Reality) and the Territory (External Reality) and at the same time they add and/or alter the related Filters, which continue to generate the discrepancies in a long run, with or without those original factors existing.

For example, you saw one of your friends not caring your feelings as he was shouting loudly to you when you had make a mistake. However this might not be the reality as it is his habit to talk loudly when he is worrying. This is a typical Physical Barriers example. However, this individual incident might not affect your perception just once. It might also create a Belief (one of the Filters) of "He is not a caring person". This belief affects how you perceive and interact with your friend in the future.

We formed most of our Filters during our grown-up. During our earlier years of our lives, we do not have many filters. So, it is too easy for us to take in so many filters from people and situations around us, your parents, brothers and sisters, relatives, teachers, classmates, church, your school life, TV programs, etc. As we grow up, it becomes more difficult to add and alter filters as our existing filters "filter" off most of them.

There are basically 3 types of Filters: Value, Belief & Rule.

1. Values are what you think that are important. They are the qualities that are intrinsically desirable to us. When our values being met, we feel satisfied and harmonious. Our values influence the goals and choices that we make. Our values direct our Perceptions and thus our actions. If someone values "stability", he/she will constantly evaluate a situation whether it causes stability or instability.

2. Beliefs are what you think that are real. This guides our Meaning-Making System. It gives meaning to what is perceived. One can find something interesting, but another one can perceive it as annoying. Thus it affects our Reactions and Expectations.

3. Rules are what you think that are right or wrong. Rules connect some of our values to our actions. If we think something is important, we will non-consciously set some rules to make the value being valued by us and by others. Our rules make our actions and behaviours consistent, but they might also limit us to change or choosing other options of action.

All our Filters (Beliefs, Values & Rules) are just what we think. It can be real or far from reality.

Our filters can be conscious or non-conscious to us. Most of our filters are non-conscious. We do not know their existence but they affect us. So discovering your filters are one of the most important kinds of Self-Awareness.

Our Filters create discrepancies between our maps and the reality through 3 fundamental mechanisms, Deletion, Distortion and Generalization.

1. Deletion is the process of we selectively focus on part(s) of the experience and excluding others. The world is too complicated. Deletion reduces the world to make us capable of handling.

We might delete part of the outside information Content, e.g. we focus only on someone's out of style dressing, while ignoring what he is talking. We might also delete part of the Context, e.g. we focus only on someone's tone of speech. Furthermore, we can even delete most of the Outside World, e.g. you sink into your inside world to think of something important while forgetting everything outside.

We usually delete something we think which is not important to us (i.e. Non-Values), or which is not real (i.e. Non-Belief), or which is right or wrong (i.e. Rule & Non-Rule).

2. Distortion is the process of shifting our experience of outside world's information. It alters the information so as to match our original Preconceptions and/or Perceptions. For example, when one of your staff is late to work, you immediately think that he is lazy without asking for when happened to him.

We use Filters to distort the Outside World to fit our Filters. Great arts and breakthrough in science can be resulted from a distortion from the present reality of the world.

3. Generalization is the process of detaching one element of the experience and taking that element representing the whole category of which the experience is an example. Through generalization, we draw global conclusions based on one, two or more experiences.

Generalization can be Useful or Limiting. We can generalize that rejecting an opinion from our superior is not polite. This makes you having good relationship with your superiors, but it can also limit your performance if the opinion is not appropriate.

Generalization is also Context-Related. The above generalization can be very suitable in Chinese culture, but might not be useful in other countries.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Article Written Years Ago - The Prosperity Swish

Hi,

This is the 3rd re-published article on NLP that I have written years ago.

The Prosperity Swish

Do you want to prosper and be wealthy?

I think most of you will say "Yes", but how many of you are really prosper and wealthy. Don't tell me that you are wealthy at heart.

I am talking about the actual wealth, that's money.

Many people just don't give themselves the permission to prosper. This is one of the most common reason for so many people can't be as wealthy as they wish.

Think about what success and prosperity mean to you. How do you think about successful people? Do you believe successful people are rotten or bad? If you have a negative belief about
success, prosperity or wealth, you are just stopping yourself from getting the wealth coming to you.

Yes, wealth really automatically comes to whom who welcome it. According to statistics, if we evenly divide the world's money to everyone in the world, all of us get million of dollars.

Give yourself permission to prosper!

If you are the one who wants more wealth but can't, try the simple skill below. I promise that you will see the result very fast, might be days or weeks. But if you are the one who can get
what you want, don't do it. It will simply reverse the effect.

Visualize yourself becoming really wealthy. Observe in great details all the sub-modalities of your picture. That is, how large is your picture? Where is its location? How bright is it? How
clear is it? Is it black and white or in color? Is it close to you or far away? Is it a still picture or like a movie? Is the movement fast, slow or normal?

Then reverse all the sub-modalities of this original picture. Enlarge the picture if it is small, or vice versa. If it is located at lower than eye level, pull it up. If it is dim, brighten it. If it is B &
W, change it into color, etc, etc.

Continue to visualize this new picture and remember every details of this new picture. This is your Picture of Prosperity. While you are visualizing this new picture, draw whatever
comes to your mind, whether it is a symbol, a word, or a picture onto a paper.

Thinking of both your picture in your mind and the picture on the paper at the same time. Try it, you can do it.

Put this picture onto the place where you can see everyday.

Every night, before you go to sleep, take a look at this picture and visualize your Picture of Prosperity. 5 minutes a day is OK.

Be prepared to see the result's coming.

Remember, give yourself permission to prosper!

(Of course, if what you want is not prosperity, you can still use this techique by just replacing with the picture of what you want! Might be a slim body or a family of great harmony.)

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Saturday, March 10, 2007

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 6 - Time

Hi,

This is Part 6 of our series of NLP is about Thinking.

There are 5 factors making "Our Maps are not the Territory". Time is the 3rd factor.

There are some "old" maps inside our minds formed years ago. They can be valid at the time of their formation, but can be "outdated" at the present moment. However, we can still non-consciously use these maps in our lives.

Our maps are Static in nature. They are the snapshots of what we perceived at the moments of our perception. Unless we consciously update our maps, most of them will remain as they are forever.

Our maps can also be Passively Dynamic. They change as time goes by. They change not because of our intentional effort and will but they are updated automatically. How does this happen?

When something happens in our lives and the results do not match our original maps, we feel uneasy. For example, you believe that all bosses are bad, but now your boss is treating you really good. 2 things can happen:

1. Changing Filter. Your filter (in this case, your belief of "all bosses are bad") might be adjusted to "some bosses are bad". You feel more comfortable as your map is now matching the territory you perceived.

2. Distortion, Deletion, Generalization. Your filter does not change. You perceive the good acts of your boss is a kind of manipulation to make you working harder for him! You can then feel comfortable as your perceived territory matches your map. Our filters work for us to make us felling comfortable by distorting, deleting and/or generalizing the external reality.

If our maps are either Static or Passively Dynamic, we must Intentionally Update our maps or our Internal Reality is too far away from the External Reality. Then, we perceive, think, and act unrealistically. It is just like operating a 64-Bits Pentium PC with an age-old Windows 3.0 Operating System. We can't function at our best.

We can Intentionally Update our maps by Verifying and Backtracking our filters. This is a life-long process as we are continuous adding new filters to our minds. Our brain is already the best CPU in the world. It is already fastest and it is estimated to work at 10 Quadrillions/Second. It is faster than the fastest computer by 141 times.

We do not need to upgrade our brain, but we need to upgrade our Operating System.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Article Written Years Ago - Who's Driving the Bus? 誰在駕駛巴士?

Hi,

This is my second re-published article on NLP that I have wriiten years ago.

Who's Driving the Bus?

Dr, Richard Bandler, the founder of NLP, once said "Who's driving the bus?" Or it might be better said as "Who's driving your bus?"

Your brain is like a machine without an "off" switch. If you don't give it something to do, it just do something else. It might not be your will. Or it might be against your will. According to Dr.
Bandler, most people are prisoners of their own brain. They are like sitting in the last seat of their own bus and someone else is driving. You do not know where he is taking you.

So, you must start to drive your own bus. At least start with deciding where you want to go. Everyday in the morning, think of what you want to accomplish that day. Keep on thinking about this image until you feel as if you had already accomplished it.

It usually takes about 1 to 2 minutes. Start your day like this so as to take your own driver's seat.

If you are not driving your own bus, who's driving?


中文譯本:

誰在駕駛巴士?

Richard Bandler博士, NLP 的創始者之一,曾經說過:「誰在駕駛巴士?」,或者說:「誰的駕駛你的巴士?」可能更合適。

你的大腦就像一台沒有「關機掣」的機器,如果你不給它一些東西去做,它唯有自己找些東西來做。但那可能並非你的願望,甚或可能違反你的意願。

根據Richard Bandler博士,大多數人是他們的自己的大腦的「囚犯」,他們坐在他們自己的巴士最後排的座位,任由他人來駕駛他的巴士,你卻不知道他在帶他走向那裡。

因此,你必須開始重新駕駛你自己的巴士,至少由你自己決定你想去的目的地開始。每日早上,認真考慮,一下你想今天達成什麼,繼續想著這個圖像,直到你覺得好像你已經完成了它。

這通常只花大約 1 到 2 分鐘,每日以這樣開始來取回你的駕駛座。

如果你不在開你的自己的巴士,誰在開車?


Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Article Written Years Ago - The Super Stupid NAC

Hi,

Years ago, I wrote an articles series on some simple NLP Skills. I don't think I can write these again, as I had already shifted my focus from NLP Skills to the NLP Modeling Process itself.

These skills are simple, but effective. I am going to re-publish these articles in the coming posts. Here is my first one: The Super Stupid NAC.

NAC is a very powerful tool invented by Anthony Robbins. It stands for Neuro Associative Conditioning. Actually it is a combination of another 2 powerful NLP skills, Anchor and
Toward & Away From Profile.

The basic concept of NAC is simple. What motivate you to do something is either you love the result of doing it (Toward the Target Profile) or you hate the result of not doing it (Away From
Profile). Then we relate the good results to the doing of the job and relate the bad results to not doing the job. In NLP terms, we "anchor" the feelings to doing and not doing.

When I designed a new workshop called the Subconscious Body Reshaping recently, I designed a simplified, rather stupid, but very effective version of NAC. You will be surprise how
simple the procedure is.

Write down 10 results you don't like if you do not take the action you want to. Then write down 10 results you like if you really take the action.

Then everyday, for 21 days, write down the following on a piece of blank paper.

I don't want to not doing XXX because I don't want to …… (write down your first set of the 10 results)

I want to do XXX because I want to …… (write down your second set of the 10 results)

That's it.

It is simple and stupid, isn't it? Yes and it works every time I do it. The key point is that you must commit yourself to do it for consecutive 21 days and watch for the result coming.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

NLP: 我對於框架(Frames), 換框(Reframing)及濾網(Filters)的看法

Hi,

以下是我們的一位NLP同學大姨仔(Alexander Ng)電郵給我的觀點, 甚有意思, 經他同意我稍作修改及刊登, 收錄如下:

我對於框架(Frames), 換框(Reframing)及濾網(Filters)的看法:

框架(Frame)係接收資訊的方法。接收資訊的方法由多種元素組成,包括框架(Frame)、感官表象系統 (V, A, K, O...)、Perceptual Positions (1st, 2nd, 3rd...)、Logical Levels (E, B, C...)、聯系/抽離、及不能盡錄的其他組件。

這些組件會構成不同的觀點Points of View (例: V+1st+B+Asso, K+2nd+C+Asso...), 人們會對不同的事不同的人用不同的觀點去接收資訊。每個人都有自己的框架儲備,有些人可能有很多框架,有些人可能只有一個框架。濾網(Filters)為我們建立框架並安排我們在什麼時候用什麼組件共並以什麼框架來觀察及思維。

換框(Reframing)係指給人對某一部分現實的另一個看法。意義及情景換框法係運作於當時人的內容層面以上,當他說出A=B係唔好時, 我們講出A可能等於C或A=B在某情況下係好。

我們可以講出這些另外睇法係因為我們有另一個框架,如果對方想明白我們的睇法必須嘗試我們的框,當他一嘗試,他便能接受原有框框以外的資訊。但我相信這兩個只是多種換框法的其中兩種。

我之前同過你分享過一個睇法: 其實NLP有好多都好似做緊換框Reframing。不過係Work on Context 多個Work on Content。例: 當件事唔關你事,你會點諗? (3rd Position + Dissociation)。我們在提供一個新框給當時人接收資訊,即是換框Reframing。

甚至我們在Mind-Set Breakthrough 所學到重整Filters的方法,其實目的都是Reframing。假設我們加一個好信念: 沒有失敗只有回饋,我們就同時得到了回饋框,自然接收到先前收唔到的資訊。

以上是我綜合一年課堂及不斷思考到目前為止的睇法,與你睇法一致嗎? (Keith: 贊成!)


Keith To另註:

1. NLP講的是『輸入的改變』(輸入的方法How), 帶出『輸入的再改變』(輸入的資料What), 再帶出『輸入的再再改變』(看法Perception/First Access), 繼而帶出『輸出的改變』(想法Linguistic Representation), 再帶出『輸出的再改變』(做法), 從而得到不同的『結果』; 『輸入的改變』就是換框換位換狀態

輸入的方法→輸入的資料→看法→想法→做法→結果


2. 當然, 很多時第一個想法出來時, 我們不會即時有所做法(如有的話就可能是反應太快了!), 第一個想法會變成輸入(What), 再次反覆變成另一個想法及更多想法, 直至得出做法為止; 但不少人卻會在上述循環中週而復始, 永遠沒有行動!

輸入的方法→輸入的資料→看法→想法→做法→結果

...........................↑__________↓

3. Filters當然就是存在於「輸入的資料→看法」及「看法→想法」的『』處, 這些Filters也當然影響我們採用什麼輸入的方法(框、位、狀態)。

.........──────────────
................................ .....
輸入的方法→輸入的資料→看法→想法→做法→結果
...........................↑__________↓


4. 更複雜的是狀態又互相影響, 例如你如果能從另一位置看某事, 你可能會因此而改用了另一個框架來看, 繼而帶出另一種狀態(這叫Change of Perceptual Positions, Strategy of Creativity等等); 你也可以以不同的狀態來看事情, 你便不自覺地選擇了不同的位置, 以及不同的框架來看 (等於NLP中的Anchoring, Dissociation, Circle of Excellence等等); 當然你更可以一開始就選用不同的框架來看, 繼而帶出不同種位置狀態(等於NLP中的換框, Meta-Model, Milton Model, Change of Submodalities等等)。

5. 更更複雜的是(如果大家仍有興趣聽下去的話), 我們的看法想法均會影響我們的狀態, 從而影響我們的輸入的方法, 再週而復始(萬劫不復?!)。

.......──────────────
.....................................
輸入的方法→輸入的資料→看法→想法→做法→結果
........................↑_____│___↓
.......│_________________ ↓___↓


大姨仔, 真的十分感謝你的『輸入』!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

NLP: NLP的正確譯名

Hi,

NLP有眾多中文譯名,本人認為『身心語言程序學』乃最為貼切的名稱。

『Neuro』本應譯作『神經』,但NLP源自普通語義學,普通語義學中指的是『Neuro-Linguistic』,而不是單指『Neuro』,而『Neuro-Linguistic』實是指人類整體的身體(Body),生理(Physiology)及神經系統(Nervous System),以及思維與語言的相互關係,而不只是指『神經』,故譯作『身心』則已包括身體與思維更為合適;

至於『Programming』一詞,有譯作『程式』,亦有譯作『程序』,『程式』、『程序』好像是等同一樣,『Programming』一詞源自計算機科學(電腦科學),『程式』普遍用於台灣及香港,而『程序』則用於國內,在考慮3千萬人與13億人更易理解後,還是選擇『程序』一詞。

這只是本人的個人觀點, 給大家作為一點參考。

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, February 19, 2007

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 5 - Missing Perspectives

Hi,

This is Part 5 of our series of NLP is about Thinking.

There are 5 factors making "the Map is not the Territory". The first one we talked about in our last part is Sensory Channels. Here is our 2nd factor: Missing Perspectives.

You see what you see, but not what others see!

Einstein once said that nobody can really know the reality. It might be because everyone is just seeing from his/her own perspective. The more perspectives we have, the more reality we can see. But we can't have any additional perspectives if we are seeing things in our own position. We must shift position in order to see from different perspectives.

In NLP, there are at least 6 different Perceptual Positions that we can shift ourselves to get more perspectives. There are 3 most important ones, the First, Second and Meta Position.

1. The First Position, or the Self-Position is seeing things from our own position. Most of us get used to this position as we perceive everything from this dominating position at most of the time. Any additional thing, which can only been seen from other positions becomes our blind-spots.

This position is still very useful because the information we get from it forms part of the whole picture. But if you are too stuck in this position, it will cause you troubles. One of them is being too subjective. Another one is Phobia, the unrealistic fear. If you can see the same thing from other positions, phobia might simply go away.

When you are in this position, you see the situation and others who are involved. But you can't see yourself.

2. The Second Position, or the Others-Position is seeing from other people's positions. There can be a lot of Second Positions as there are a lot of other people, who can see the same situation. The more Second Positions you can gain access of, the more objective you are. Some people can get stuck in the Second Position. They think and feel like others think and feel. They lost their own self and sometimes co-dependency is resulted.

When you are in this position, you see the situation and yourself, might be some others who are also involved. But you can't see that person.

3. The Meta-Position, or the Observer-Position is seeing from a totally unrelated, imaginary person's position, just doing the observation of the situation, yourself and others involved. You see everything, everyone in this position. You are in a mindset of "this is nothing about anyone, anything".

How can we access the Others-Position and the Observer-Position? You must consciously and intentionally detach from yourself and move to these positions in your mind. Or if the situation is already over, you can physically move to different positions. After many times of consciously and intentionally moving to different positions, you will be able to do it non-consciously and automatically.

One of the key factors that makes people be able to move into different positions is that you must go into the Observer-Position first before you can go into Others-Positions. How can you jump from one position to another? You must go through the transition position of the Observer-Position first!

That means, when you are detaching from any positions, you tell yourself "this is nothing about anyone, anything".

BTW, if you want to know more about our NLP Practitioner Training, which is done only once a year, go to our website at www.excelcentre.net/nlppractitioner.html.

See you again in our next part of this series.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 4 - Physical Barriers & Sensory Channels.

Hi,

This is Part 4 of our series of NLP is about Thinking.

Let's me recap a bit. NLP is about Modeling and Modeling is about Thinking.

There are 5 factors making "the Map is not the Territory". We are going to discuss each of them in our coming articles.

The first factor is Physical Barriers & Sensory Channels.

We see, hear and feel to get the outside information into our minds. There are always barriers blocking our sensory inputs. It is always desirable to reduce these barriers, though this is quite outside the scope of NLP.

Expanding our Sensory Channels, Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic is a great way to enhance both the quality and quantity of information feed-in, even under the above mentioned constrain of Physical Barrier.

Expanding our Sensory Channels is of 2 folds. Both expansions can be done by intentionally using our Sensory Channels. Our sensory inputs are quite "passive" and we can expand them by actively using them.

1. Maximize our Sensory Inputs. We intentionally see, hear and feel more. We do not just focus on one single part. We consciously be aware of our Attention and consciously put our Attention to different parts of what we are observing. We can also consciously alter our Levels of Scope during observation to see, hear and feel more.

2. Using All our Channels. We habitually rely on a single channel, either Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic (we call it the Primary Representational System in NLP). More channels means more information. We consciously use our "less-used" channels to force them to serve us. For example, I am heavily relied on Auditory in the past, so I consciously do more "seeing" and "feeling" during interactions with people and things.

Both the above takes time to see the results. Knowing something is different from have the knowledge. You need to practise it. There are so many people know NLP but not all have the knowledge to use it to enhance their lives.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Monday, February 05, 2007

NLP: What is Knowledge?

Hi,

In my last article of NLP is Epistemology, we talked about the production of knowledge. Here are some of my ideas on Knowledge.

What is Knowledge?

According to Plato, Knowledge is the "Cross-Over" of Truths and Beliefs. When you believe in something, it is you thinking that it is a Truth. But you might be wrong. Then you might not be able to make use of it to do something successfully.

However, but if what you believe is also a Truth, then, it will become useful. To prove something is really a Truth, we need Justification. That means, one must have a good reason to believe something is true. However, the Justification must also be Indefeasible, i.e. it is impossible to override that Reason of Justification.

So, Knowledge might be defined as Indefeasibly Justified True Beliefs.

Since NLP only applies to Pragmatic Knowledge, the Justification in NLP Modeling is the workability of the modelled patterns. To make the Justification near to Indefeasibility, the pattern must be tried and tested under similar conditions as of the modeling process. So, for example, even one has tested a new communication pattern which was modelled from a professional speaker on many professional speakers, it cannot be classified as a Indefeasible Justification for layman speakers, unless one also test this on layman speakers, too.

I must admit that even such test had been done, it still can't be 100% Indefeasible, unless the sample size is big enough as a scientific proof! So, I never recommend application of NLP Patterns in clinical situations. Leave that to professional psychologists, who have been trained with scientifically proved techniques. But it can be useful enough for our daily life!

This also makes Simultaneous Modeling particularly useful. The pattern modelled is just applied for that person and situation at that moment of modeling. It will become obsolete once the situation is over. We model everytime when we encounter a situation.

Next time, we will discuss the Types of Knowledge and we can then understand what kinds of Knowledge we can apply NLP.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: NLP is Epistemology (Theory of Knowlefdge)

Hi,

Recently someone had read my article of NLP is about Modeling & Thinking Part 1 & Part 2. He emailed me and asked me what NLP really is.

This article is written to answer his question.

Firstly, NLP is NOT a branch of Psychology. Both the co-founders of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder is not a psychologist. Their works can't be psychology. (Although some psychologists use their ideas and concepts in therapy)

Secondly, NLP can be best described as a kind of Epistemology (知識論), the Theory of Knowledge. Epistemology is the study of the nature and production of knowledge. It can also be understand as how we know what we know.

At the very beginning of NLP, the co-founders acquired the knowlede of Virginia Satir's and Milton Erickson's knowledge of psychotherapy through the NLP Modeling Process. Then, those developers of NLP modelled many different excellent people in various fields to produce different kinds of knowledge. These are known as the Patterns and Models of NLP.

Pattern is the single chain of behaviours, while Model is a collection of minimal number of patterns that creates result.

In today's world, we are facing Information-Overflow, but not Knowledge-Overflow. There is so much information out there, but not all can be used by us. Knowledge is the useful information that can be used by us. Learning NLP is to acquire the Knowledge of generating Knowledge. That's why it is important nowadays.

When you learn NLP, you are going to study at least 4 things:

1. The Modeling Process. This is the core of NLP if NLP is a kind of Epistemology. This process was invented to produce knowldge through modeling those people having that knowledge.

2. The NLP Presuppositions. These are the fundamental assumptions backing up the NLP Modeling Process. These help one to model easier and faster.

3. NLP Models. These are the results of NLP Modeling. Learning these doesn't imply you are learning NLP. Learning these models serves 2 purposes. Firstly, when you understand the very best models created by the NLP Modeling Process, it makes your learning of NLP better. Secondly, some of these models support the NLP Modeling Process. These might include the T.O.T.E. Model, Representational System, Eye Accessing Cues Model, Submodalities Model, States Model, Perception Positions Model and the Filters Model.

4. NLP Patterns. These are again just the results of the NLP Modeling Process. Learning some of them can make your understanding of the Process itself better. You can't learn all of them. There are thousands of patterns, increasing every moment.

In my next article of What is Knowledge, I will discuss withh you more on how to acquire knowledge more effectively.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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NLP: Simultaneous Modeling

Hi,

As I had mentioned millions times before, NLP is about Modeling. NLP is never about the NLP Patterns, NLP Models or NLP Skills that produced as a result of NLP Modeling Process.

No matter how many NLP Patterns, Models, or Skills you had learned (including the most famous Meta Model, Milton Model, Representational Systems, Fast Phobia Cure, Swish Pattern...), you still do not know NLP if you haven't learned and understand the NLP Modeling Process itself.

The usefulness of NLP is not just about modeling excellence in forms of Strategies and Models that we taught in the NLP Practitioner & Master Practitioner Program. It lies in Simultaneous Modeling of others and yourself during daily life. You meet someone or a situation, you can simultaneously model them during your interaction with them, all at the same time. So you can recognize their patterns and respond accordingly at each interaction.

There are limitations in any NLP Patterns and Models because they are the results of modeling someone else in the past. The one you are interacting with might not be similar to that someone else being modelled in the past. This is why some NLP Skills sometimes work while sometimes do not work.

The only model and pattern always work is the one you specially model for that situation - Simultaneous Modeling!

Modeling Excellence is not modeling excellence people and behaviours. It is Modeling to Excellence. Through modeling others, you continuously generate well-coping strategies to cater for the situation, you then achieve excellence.

I will incorporate this Simultaneous Modeling in all of my future NLP Programs. This is the Source-Codes of NLP. If you had already done my NLP Programs in the past, come and refresh and relearn (of course, at no charge)!!!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, December 26, 2006

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 3 - The Map is not the Teritory

Hi,

Thanks for reading Part 3 of our NLP is about Thinking Series.

As we have mentioned in Part 2, NLP is the science of Modeling of behaviour. There are about 20 NLP Presuppositions, which are the guidelines for modeling. These also form the basic concepts of NLP.

The most fundamental NLP Presupposition is "The Map is not the Territory". This is adopted from Korzybsk's works of 1933. Our perception of the Reality might be quite different from the Reality itself. The actual Territory is the Reality in the outside world, while we have our own Maps of the Reality inside our mind.

For example, there are 11 books on the desk. One might say that there are several books there. Another one might tell you that there are 11 books on the desk. Even a third one might say that there are 9 books and 2 magazines on the desk. All can be right or wrong to certain degree. They are all telling you the truth, according to their perceptions, i.e. their Maps of the Reality.

In short, what you think about something/someone might not be exactly the same as the Reality. That is, what you think might not be Real! However, we often don't realize that we are using a map at all.

Then, how does this "The Map is not the Territory" Presupposition relate to NLP?

1. NLP is about Modeling. When you model someone, his/her behaviour is based on his/her Map, but not the Reality. It is meaningless and sometimes quite useless to just "copy" his/her external behaviour. We model others' internal map, too. That is, we copy what are inside others' minds., their strategies of judgement, decision and perception.

2. NLP is about Thinking. The more deviation the Map from the Territory, the more unreal is our thinking. The decision and the behaviours resulted from these unreal thinking cannot match with the Reality. Problems are then the results. Our objective is to make our maps as closed to the Reality (Territory) as possible in order to achieve accurate thinking.


Then, what makes the Map not same as the Territory?

There can be 5 different sources of this difference between the Map and the Territory:

1. Physical Barriers. These might include some physical handicaps - one can't hear, see or sense clearly. Environmental factors can be other form of physical barriers. A noisy environment, communication using the telephone, talking in a hurry are examples of environmental factors.

NLP trains us to expand the capability of every Sensory Channels so that we can get the maximum amount of information with or without physical barriers. The more information feed-in, the more accurate is our maps.

2. Missing Perspectives. If you ask 3 persons to see something, they will tell you 3 separate different stories afterward. Why? Because they all see the same thing from different perspectives.

We can never see the whole picture from one single perspective. The more perspectives you have, the fuller the picture you can see. In NLP, we learn to see things from at least 6 Perceptual Positions to give us a more realistic Map.

3. Time. There are some "old" maps inside our minds formed years ago. They can be valid at the time of formation, but being "outdated" at the present moment. However, we can still non-consciously use these maps in our lives. Our maps are static in nature. They are the snapshots of what we perceived at the moments of our perception. Unless we consciously update our maps, most of them will remain as they are forever. Intentionally Updating our maps is another key NLP lessons.

4. Filters. This is one of the core concepts of NLP. Filters refer to our Beliefs, Values and Rules. They interact with each others to form our Beliefs System. This is the interface between the Reality and our Maps. Every information going into our mind from outside can be deleted, distorted or/and generalized when passing through these filters.

For example, if you believe that we must be nice to our parents, you will think someone is bad when you see he is shouting to his mom. You might miss the fact that it is their habit to talk to each others loudly or his mom is deaf. This is Deletion.

In NLP, we train ourselves to backtrack our Filters in order to identify them. Then we can consciously study them. This is one way of achieving Self-Awareness.

5. Language. Our maps affect the language we use and our language in turn affect our (and others') maps. For example, if one sees many people are not treating him/her good, one might say to him/herself: "Everybody is bad". This "Everybody is bad" statement will in turn makes him/her truly believe that Everybody is really bad.

NLP is also the studies of how language affects our thinking. We learn how to be aware of our language, and make use of our language to identify and fine-tune our maps. Meta Model is one of our key tools to attain such awareness.

As a conclusion, a more accurate map generates less misunderstanding, better decisions and an easier life.

In Part 4 of our series, we will discuss more on Physical Barriers & Sensory Channels.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Sunday, December 24, 2006

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 2 - Then, what is NLP?

Hi,

In Part 1 of this series, I explained that NLP can be applied in therapy, communication, selling, personal development, changes, management & leadership, and coaching, but NLP is not about either of them.

Then what is NLP?

1. NLP is about Modeling. NLP started in the early 70's by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, the originators of NLP. They created NLP by modeling several great therapists at that time, including Virginia Satir (Mother of Family Therapy), Fritz Perls (Founder of Gestalt Therapy) and Milton Erickson (Greatest Hypnotherapist in 20th Century).

Through their works with these therapists, Bandler and Grinder formulated these therapists' models of therapy. They discovered the therapists' patterns through observing how they did their works. They called their modeling techniques as Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

According to Grinder, only those models formulated by this NLP Modeling Process should be classified as NLP. So, NLP is about Modeling. All other models, patterns and skills of NLP are the results of this NLP Modeling Process.

These models, patterns and skills of NLP are NOT NLP. they are just the results of NLP. There are not currently over thousands of these models, patterns and skills through the modeling works of many NLP developers in the last 30 years.

2. NLP is about Thinking. NLP is the modeling of how people doing something. One of the key criteria for NLP Modeling is that the behaviour being modeled must be consistent so that it is not just out of random.

A behaviour being consistent because there is a structure of thinking behind that behaviour. This structure of thinking can be a fixed thinking process (i.e. strategy in NLP term), based on some fixed Beliefs, Values, Rules and/or Attitudes. These fixed Beliefs, Values, Rules and/or Attitudes filter off those "unrelated" elements in our mind and thus generating the same, repeated thoughts and thus the same repeated behaviour every time we do something. So, NLP called these fixed Beliefs, Values, Rules and/or Attitudes, Filters.

If one wants to change the result of a behaviour effectively, he/she needs to change his/her thoughts. To change his/her thoughts, one needs to change the Filters first.

NLP is thus also the study of this kind of "Thinking" - the relationships of Filters, Thoughts and Behaviours.

In Part 3, we are going to talk more about Filters.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Friday, December 22, 2006

NLP: Logical Levels is NOT Logical Levels

Hi,

I like to write this article to clarify the misunderstanding long ago. What makes me stop my procrastination is reading a book on NLP in a book shop this afternoon.

The author of the book states in his book that the "Logical Levels" was designed by Robert Dilts, who based on the theory of Bateson. This statement is wrong. He hasn't done enough homework for his book.

It further states that Bateson created something called "Neuro-Logical Levels" and Robert Dilts designed the "Logical Levels" from this in early 90's. This is totally wrong!

1. Bateson is one of the 4 original experts being modeled by Bandler and Grinder in the 70's. The result of these modeling is the birth of NLP. But Bateson had never written anything called "Logical Levels".

2. It is correct that Robert Dilts created the "Logical Levels". He also says that this was adapted from Bateson's work. But Bateson never did anything on "Logical Levels".

3. Mr. Dilts created the "Logical Levels" in the mid-80's.


"Logical Levels" is neither logical nor they are "levels"!

1. They are not logical. If something is logical, they must have logical relationship between them. There is absolutly no logical relationship amongst the 6 levels of Dilts' "Logical Levels". Two things are considered to have logical relationship, if either they are equal to each others (i.e. an equivalence relationship) or one causes another one (i.e. a cause & effect relationship), or one includes another one (i.e. an inclusive relationship). But none of the above exists in those 6 levels.

Can you say a Behaviour can equal to/cause/include an Environment? Or can you say a Capability can equal to/cause/include a Behaviour? (You can be capable of doing something, but you can NOT do it!) The answer is "No".

2. They are not levels. Levels imply that some levels are more "X" than another one. More important, more effective, etc. But can you say that any one level in the "Logical Levels" are more whatever than the other ones? No.

Dilts explains that the higher levels are more influential than the lower ones. It is not 100% true. Sometimes when you change the "lowest" level of Environment, you behave differently to fit the new Environment. You might develop new Capabilities to face the new challenges. Meeting different people in the new Environment can also change some of your Beliefs. Many people change into a different person (i.e. Identity) when they are away from their "bad" friends in the new Environment. When many of your new friends belong to one religion, you might even gradually become part of them (i.e. Spiritual).

In Dilts' Model of "Logical Levels", the higher levels are more difficult to be changed. Sometimes it is very difficult to change the Environment and people rather change their mind (i.e. Beliefs). Don't you see there are so many people have great aspirations at the beginning of their career but life is so hard that most of them change their mind to be mediocre?

Don't you see so many people who find dieting (Capability) so difficult that they simply believe dieting is useless?


Furthermore, "Logical Levels" is not NLP!

To be NLP, it must come from Modeling. However, according to Dilts, "Logical Levels" is adapted from or inspired by, but not modeled from Bateson! We can model from a real person or even from their writings. We model how someone doing something and then create the model of how he/she did it. But Bateson has never written anything about those "Logical Levels". So, it can't be a result of modeling.


But why so many people talk about "Logical Levels"? Because Dilts is a famous person in the NLP field and Bateson is a great scholar. To be honest, I admire Mr. Dilts very much and I agree with most of his ideas in NLP. He is a great contributor to NLP.

But why you (i.e. Keith To) still talk about "Logical Levels" in your training?

Because it is useful! The fact that "Logical Levels" is not logical, levels and NLP doesn't make it useless. It is a great invention of Mr. Dilts! "Logical Levels" is not logical, levels and NLP when you see them as "Logical Levels". But when you see them as 6 separate "Frames of Reference", they are very NLP ("Frame" is a very important model of NLP) and they are very useful in both discovering and influencing.

When I teach "Logical Levels" in the Behaviour Module of the NLP Practitioner Program, I actually use them as frames with different perceptual positions. Remember my teaching of 6 Positions X 6 "Levels" = 36 Points of View? I am treating the "Levels" as "Frames" so that we can "view" more!

My idea behind writing this article is to clarify the potential limiting belief behind "Logical Levels". If you want to change something, it is OK and effective to change it at any level you see appropriate. It doesn't matter that it must be at a higher level above your problem! They are just different frames to see your problem!

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

NLP: 4 Key Elements of NLP Modeling

Hi,

Modeling is central to NLP.

Actually, all the models and skills of NLP are the results of modeling. Modeling is the study of how others doing something. Then everyone can learn from the models.

Is all kinds of modeling NLP Modeling?

No!

There should be 4 key elements of NLP Modeling:

1. There is a structure of thinking behind the actions performed. i.e. the actions are not at random.

2. The process/pattern of acting can be identified and described.

3. The suspension of any taxonomic and/or analytic attempt to understand consciously the model during the assimilation stage of modeling and until the modeler can successfully reproduce the process. (This element is from John Grinder, co-founder of NLP)

4. If the modeling is accurate, people learning from the model can achieve a similar level of performance, provided that he/she meets certain essential requirements and under similar context. For example, if it is a jumping model of a 6.5 feet person with professional equipment, a 4.5 feet person without any equipment might not be able to achieve similar performance even he/she is adopting such model.

NLP Modeling is not superior than other forms of modeling, like Analytic Modeling. But NLP is about NLP Modeling!

Keith

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Friday, December 08, 2006

NLP: NLP is about Thinking Part 1 - What NLP is Not?

Hi,

I decided to write this new series since September 2006. I still haven't started yet because I want to organize all my thoughts before writing. Months passed and I think that I will not write anything if I still want to wait.

So, I start to write whatever I see appropriate to someone who really want to know the Real NLP Underlying the Today So-Called NLP.

I will continue to write until I can't write any more on this topic. So, this series can be composed of 10, or 15 or even 20 articles. They might not be in systematic order. Upon completion, I will re-organize and edit them again in order to make them more readable.

Let's start with definition.

There can be hundreds of different definitions of NLP. It's difficult to tell you the best one. But there are right or wrong definitions out there. Let's analyze those wrong definitions first:

1. NLP is about Therapy.

No! The NLP founders started to model several of the most famous therapists, like Satir, Erickson in order to understand how they were so effective and efficient in the 70's. But what they found out that this was about their ways of communicating with their clients. They can easily help their clients to discover something about themselves & their problems and they can effectively persuade their clients to become "normal" again.

Amongst the major models of NLP, none of them is directly related to therapy! You can't become a therapist by learning NLP! Don't even think about being a therapist after you learn NLP. You are going to cause harms more than help. Therapy is much more complicated.

2. NLP is about Communication.

No! NLP is not just about communication. A further study of these great therapists, it is how they think makes them a great communicator.

Their thinking models behind their communication is more important. How you think affects how you communicate. Amongst the major models of NLP, only the Meta Model and the Milton Model is related directly to communication. But these 2 models is more about how our communication affects our thinking and how our thinking affects our communication.

3. NLP is about Selling.

No! In the 80's, the market of therapists for NLP training became limited. Smart NLP Trainers began to promote the NLP trainings for sales professionals. There are more salespersons than therapists in the world, a much bigger market!

NLP can be good for persuasion and thus works well in selling, but NLP is not about selling. Money can buy food but money is not about food?!

4. NLP is about Personal Development.

No! In the early 90's, there were more and more NLP Trainers. Many thought that doing the training was easy. Many people went into the profession of training NLP. So, the NLP Trainers needed a larger market.

If NLP can help and persuade people, it can also be used to improving oneself. NLP was then promoted as a tool for personal development. To be honest, it is a good idea, a much better idea than NLP is about therapy. At least, people will not think themselves as therapist and do all sorts of dangerous stuffs on others after they learned NLP!

Again, NLP can be effectively used to develop oneself, but it is not just about Personal Development.

5. NLP is about Changes.

No. Change is one of the most important concepts of NLP. If someone do not change, he/she can't get what they wish. It is one of the presuppositions of NLP that one gets what he/she currently getting if one do what one currently doing. This is logical.

One can change his/her attitude, thinking, actions, etc to get what he/she wants. This concept of changes is quite misunderstood by many NLP people. It is the output of changes matter, not the input of changes. Many NLP people tries to change others in order to get the output of changes. So, NLP is well-known for its manipulation style!

What we concern is the output of changes, not changing others!

6. NLP is about Management & Leadership.

No. In the 90's, some NLP Trainers figured out that the most profitable market for NLP training and consulting was in the business field. Companies have bigger budget than individuals. So NLP was packaged as Management and Leadership tools.

If NLP can be used to discover and influencing others, NLP can surely becoming useful in business. A good manager is the one who can discover all the available resources and influencing others to use these resources to produce results. Leaders are those people who can discover their visions and then influencing others to follow.

But NLP is not just about Business. It is just one of its applications.

7. NLP is about Coaching.

No. Coaching is the buzz word of the 21st century. Many NLP Trainers (including myself) are using this magic word to make NLP standing at the top of the trend. Coaching is about helping others discovering their problems, opportunities and solutions that they are originally unaware of.

Although I love this concept and NLP can be applied easily to coach others, NLP is still not just about Coaching.

Then, what is NLP about? We talk about this in our next article of the series.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

NLP: Resources & Choices

Hi,

One of our classmates emailed me asking me the difference between Resources and Choices in NLP. The information can be useful to many of us, so I answer her here.

"Resource" comes from a French word meaning "to spring forth". In NLP, Resource is described as anything that helps a person going from current state to desired state, including from a problem state to a solution state.

There can be 2 kinds of Resources, the Inner and the Outer. Inner Resources include beliefs, values and internal states of excellence (eg. Confidence, Joy, Humor...). Outer Resources include skills, guidance, tools and supports. The Inner Resources help us to change an Inner State, while the Outer Resources help us to change the Outer States.

There is a NLP Presupposition stating that we have all the resources we need. It is referring to the Inner Resources. We have all those qualities but we might not be able to aware of them right now.

"Choices" in NLP refers to actionable options created or discovered by a person in order to achieve something.

My friend asked me: Is it true that the more resources we have, the more successful we will be?

From a view point of a "normal" person, it is true. But from the rediculous NLP point of view, it is a misunderstanding of the basic concept of NLP.

If we already have all the resources we need, there can't be "more" resources!?

However, it is true that if we have more choices, we can be more successful (another NLP Presupposition). Choices can be the usable options of making use of the Outer Resources. If success is defined as achieving something, i.e. external, the more choices that we can make use of the Outer Resources, the higher probability of gaining success.

You can also see "Resources" as something passive, something already been inside you or outside over there. "Choices" are something active, you create or discover in order to make use of the "Resources".


Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

NLP: The More Choices You have, the More Successful You will be.... Part 2

Hi,

Further to my previous message of the same title, I like to elaborate a little bit more.

Someone emailed me, asking me to explain further.

There are 2 kinds of choices - Choices others gave you and Choices you created by yourself. You can distinguist them as Passive Choices and Active Choices.

When choices are created by you, the Active Choices, they are created based on some of your criteria. So, you can select the right choices according to the situations. Active Choices give you more flexibility and freedom.

When choices are given by others, the Passive Choices, they are created by others' criteria. They might have the knowledge to select the right choices while you can't. Passive Choices give you confusion.

It is the Active Choices we need to generate more successes. BTW, success is just getting what you want. If you have more usable choices, the Active Choices, you can get what you want at a higher probability.

Keith
Explore, Exceed, & Excel

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Monday, November 13, 2006

NLP: The More Choices You have, the More Successful You will be

Hi,

"The more choices you have, the more successful you will be" is one of the most misundertood presuppositions of NLP.

I like to clarify a bit here.

Many people think that if we had been given too many choices, it becomes really difficult to choose. So the more choices we have, the more confusion we have, the more unsuccessful we will be.

This is absolutely true. So, we tend to reduce our choices. In a long run, we sometimes limit ourselves to one single choice so that we do not need to choose at all. Life becomes easier!

But suddenly, our single choice disappears (things changes!!!) and we find ourselves out of choices! We have nothing. This is one of the most serious problems facing us.

The presupposition "The more choices you have, the more successful you will be" is actually an attitude to prevent such problem.

To understand the "choices" in the "The more choices you have, the more successful you will be" presupposition, we need to understand where this presupposition came from. This was modeled from one of the 4 original great psychologists in the 70's. He is Bateson. He is a systems scientist. This presupposition is originated from the famous Law of Requiste Varity of the Systems Science.

This law states that the larger the variety of actions available, the greater the chance of achiving the goal. This law applies to any cybernetic systems.

NLP developers borrowed the concept of this law to human beings.

The "choices" in the presupposition is not about the choices offered to you. It is about the choices you can use.

The more choices offered to you, the more confusion is generated. But the more choices you can use, the more flexible you will be.

For example, if you want to kiss a girl, someone offers you 2 choices to do so, it is easy to choose. But he gives you 5, it becomes more difficult. When he offers 20 choices, oh my God!

However, if you have 2 usable choices to kiss a girl, you might not be successful if she have more choices of action to turn you down. But if you have 5, it becomes easier. When you have 20, ...........

So, the "choices" is about usable choices and about choices of action. Such choices are not being offered, but it needs us to search, discover, identify and create!

Keith

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Business Development: Modeling Other Business

Hi,

I am in Singapore. After several days of leisure time, I attended a conference of the Container Owners Association. I am attending the conference with my client. This conference makes me knowing more about the business of my client and I do learn a lot from it.

Sometimes you can learn much more when you study something totally different from your own business. This widens our horizon. All these new learning might be applied in your own business.


In NLP, we chunk up and generate models into something that can be applied to a bigger scope. We can also adapt different models into your situation or transfer models to other scenario.

When you can't pick up any new idea from your familiar environment, go to somewhere else.

Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel

Revised: Aug 1 2008

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

NLP: Definition and Scope of NLP

Hi,

There are always misunderstanding about NLP. Here are some of my opinions:

1. If I can just give only one definition for NLP, I will say: NLP is the modeling of how people thinks.

2. Scope of NLP can include anything about thinking. NLP is just the technique to model people's thinking. Therefore, we can model conscious mind, subconscious mind, unconscious mind and instincts.

We can model Logical Thinking, Emotional Thinking, Volitional Thinking, Responsive Thinking and Conceptual Thinking. We can model beliefs, values, rules, identities and systems. We can also model people's body, mind and their relationship.

Keith

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